Saturday, January 6, 2018

2K18

| Now Playing: Never Be The Same by Camila Cabello |

Something must've gone wrong in my brain,
Got your chemicals all in my veins.
Feeling all the highs, feeling all the pain,
Let go of the wheel, it's the bullet lane.
Now I'm seeing red, not thinking straight,
Blurring all the lines, you intoxicate me.

Just like, nicotine, heroin,
Morphine, suddenly,
I'm a fiend and you're all I need.
All I need, yeah, you're all I need.

It's you, babe,
And I'm a sucker for the way that you move, babe.
And I could try to run but it would be useless,
You're to blame.
Just one hit of you, I knew I'll never be the same.
It's you, babe,
And I'm a sucker for the way that you move, babe.
And I could try to run but it would be useless,
You're to blame.
Just one hit of you, I'll never ever ever be the same.
____________________________________________________________________

So wow, this blog is super late. Super late meaning that I didn't even post one on Wednesday. I've been sick ever since late Monday / early Tuesday, so I don't really know what happened, but it's been a struggle dealing with it as we welcome 2018 to reality. I was gonna post this on Thursday, but I was feeling awful, so bad, and I decided against doing one on Friday since I usually post on Saturdays anyways, I figured I would wait.

2018 started off better than any year I've ever experienced. I know I posted my last blog on Sunday, but the best night of the year (literally) was later that night. I knew that Allen and I had planned on getting together for something for New Years Eve, as we had talked about on Christmas, but I had no idea what. So as I mentioned in the last blog, they were wanting to go to the Park for New Year's, and I was actually really excited about going. I was putting off any sort of nerves about it because I was like you know what? I'm going with friends I really enjoy, with this guy that I really like, and so what if I can't really dance? Who cares if they'll judge me or look at me weird? It's not about them, it's about me enjoying my New Year's and I was determined to make that happen. And I did.

So Allen texted me around 5ish or so that I could come up whenever I liked, so I started getting ready. And after getting ready fairly quickly, I headed out, and I didn't traipse all over creation looking for a certain type of liquor haha. I actually had a bottle of some sweet red wine that my grandma said she had bought and I could take up there with me if I liked. So I took it with me. And when I got to Allen's place, it was just him and me. I knew that West was still back visiting family, and Allen told me that Amanda and CJ were going to be there at 8, so we had a couple hours to ourselves. And we spent them just talking, listening and dancing to music from New Rules to Havana to Tell Me You Love Me, drinking the sweet red that I had brought with me, and just enjoying each other's company. We laughed and drank and danced and it was just a really wonderful moment. So after some car trouble and after being over an hour of when they said they were gonna be there haha, Amanda and CJ joined us, only for us to head out the door. Mind you, I was already fairly drunk at this point. Not like stumbling drunk, but one step from that peg on the ladder. After drinking the sweet red that I brought, I kept taking a swig of Allen's Heineken (gross, btw) just so I could still be drunk when we got to the Park haha. But he reminded me that he had that bottle of moscato he had bought for me to enjoy, so we had started drinking that, so ya girl was litty committee while we were in the car. The highlights of this car ride include Amanda and I rapping hardcore to Only by Nicki Minaj haha.

Once some parking issues were resolved, we headed in to the Park. And it was pretty packed. Not quite as bad as I was expecting, but still fairly busy to where you had to suck it in and shimmy around people to get through. But the first thing we did? Stand in the line there was to order drinks from the bar haha. We didn't, and certainly not I, wanted to lose our buzz we had going. So it was around 11 at this point, and I had already spotting two people I knew. Chris from work and Jay, who I used to work with at ABC. I had totally forgotten that his roommate worked at the Park, it hadn't even crossed my mind. Surprisingly? I didn't let the fact that people I knew were there get to me. I was worried that something like that would make me not want to dance, or be really self-conscious, but I wasn't having it. Like I said, I was determined to have a good time.

After finally getting our drinks (finally here means we waiting far too long in line for them), we headed to the dance floor. I honestly don't even remember what was playing, but we just started dancing, having a good time. Oh, and I downed my entire drink in like thirty seconds. Ya girl was Kristen Wiig during the plane scene of Bridesmaids. Ready to parrrrrtyyyyy! So that's what happened. The music was good, but I really wanted some Taylor. And then? A drag queen performed a number to motherfucking ...Ready For It? bitch. I. Was. LIVING. Like, yas queen! I was so here for it, you have no idea. So anyway, Allen and I are pretty inseparable at this point, just dancing off of each other, having a great time, and he's assuring me that I'm dancing perfectly fine haha. And since mawma was feeling her drink, I was honestly really getting into it. He just looked so sexy in his outfit, all dressed up, and God, he was fucking cute haha. I just....mmmm. Anyway, so then the time comes that the ball drops! And with everyone's energy around us, it was just really cool and such an experience, I can't even accurately describe it. It was incredible. And then the moment comes, the ball drops, and everyone screams HAPPY NEW YEAR and the live feed on the screen onstage, it was literally incredible. And then Allen and I start kissing, as balloons start dropping down from their previously secured nets in the ceiling and, ahhh, I just can't tell you how incredible it felt to be in that moment. And even looking back on it now, it seems so ethereal and surreal, like it happened to someone else because it felt like it was out of a movie.



So after the ball drops, the music starts going off, and we're dancing like crazy, Allen's determined for me to rip his clothes off because of how insanely sexy he's dancing against me that I catch myself biting my lip a few times. At some point, we went and got another round of drinks, and that one ended up a lot on my shirt haha. I was struggling. Then, again at some point, I saw Ruby from work and Wes, who used to work there, and their crew getting down, so that was nice. Jay also found me at some point and took a picture with me so he could show Amber Roop that he saw me haha. Allen and I just danced our little hearts out, and kept kissing so much that at one point, CJ was like 'Alright, we're gonna head outside, ya nasties', which was just hilarious haha. We headed back to Allen's place at around 1, and another highlight of the second car ride (aside from Amanda getting sick and we had to pull over) was Allen and I held hands the entire time. I know that's a small thing, and like literally so mushy or whatever, but I just really enjoyed that. I was just so thankful that he suggested that I come with them because I had such an amazing, exhilarating time that I couldn't thank him enough. I'm so proud of myself for putting myself out there, like I had said I wanted to do in the last blog, and just following through with not giving a single fuck what anyone thought about me. I just loved it.

The next morning, Allen and I were lazy, laying in bed together, watching vine compilations on his phone, both of us quoting them, which was just a silly, cute time haha. I asked him if he wanted to grab something to eat, so we headed over to Macado's. I ended up getting that damn southwest quesadilla that LunchCrew and I discovered that time we first went on lunch, and it was a good time. Plus, Allen said something that like, made me internally catch my breath? That's so dramatic, I know, but I was excited by it. He thanked me for paying and said he would get the next one when "you aren't dating such a peasant." The fact that he said we were dating, whichever definition you chose to use there, just made me stop a little. Because I so bad would like for us to be, like, official official, so I feel like hearing that was a step in the right direction.

I'm sorry I spent so long on New Year's haha. I just really wanted to chronicle that amazing moment in my life, and just really shed light on the ending of the year and what I hope this year has in store for me.

So sometime between Monday evening, I started to feel like I was getting sick. I low-key think it's because, even though it's super cold outside, there was a moment where I had my fans on, and then after laying in bed with them on me, I started to cough out of nowhere, and it felt like, this sounds dumb, but like it was because of how cold it was in here. I can't really describe it well, but you get the gist. So I turned the fans off, and thought nothing of it. Tuesday, I felt fine. Like I was getting sick, so I bought medicine to nip it in the bud, but otherwise fine. Wednesday morning? I woke up, and couldn't hardly head out of my right ear, aka my bad ear, aka always my right ear. I was pissed. I can handle the nose thing, I can handle the cough, but what I can't handle is not being able to hear. So I tried to play it off, but I ended up not being able to. Thursday I went into work, and my ear felt almost worse. More muffled, more palpable pressure in my ear, just awful. So after talking about everything over with Cheyenne, I decided that I was going to go to the urgent care place beside work, and just see what they said and if they could do anything for me.

Honestly, thank God I did. I don't know, and don't want to know, the kind of condition I would be in if I didn't. I went in and the doctor told me that I had Eustachian tube dysfunction, where the tub that allows me to hear is blocked off from the sinus pressure, or whatever kind of pressure. I looked it up and the diagrams on it are dead on, I'm just so tried of having my ear cause so much problems. Anyway, so she told me to lay off the decongestant and the DayQuil I was taking, because it was raising my blood pressure, and to lay off the nasal spray I was religiously using. She prescribed me Flonase, which I've never used before, and it's been a miracle drug. Literally. She said to take it for three to four days, and if it wasn't working, she prescribed me some prednisone to take with it. So I was really frustrating Thursday night, I had just taken the Flonase, which was only once a day to take, which was also frustrating, and I just wanted to feel better. After lazily dozing in and out of sleep because of how annoyed I was, I ended up going to bed super early. Like I fell asleep around 9:30. Cut to me waking up at 2:30, my ear in some of the worst pain in my life, can't breathe, just basically thinking I'm going to be up all night. But I fell back asleep, and when I woke up, I could hear. Not like, fully hear, like I could still feel the pressure, but it had relieved itself enough through the night that I could actually hear, and nothing was muffled anymore. Friday at work was a blessed day for that alone, I was so happy I could cry.

Another thing that happened was Thursday, the Christmas gift that I got Allen during Post-Christmas™️ finally arrived! I was super excited about it, and I'm still super excited to give it to him. I'm low-key kind of glad I've had the weekend to wait out giving it to him though because I want to add something to it, and I need to get paid for that to happen. I'll mention more on that when it actually comes to fruition haha. I've been so broke leading up to this coming up paycheck, it's been sad. But thank God Tuesday is coming up because ya girl is going through it.

And today's been a lovely day. I started up typing chapter eight of Book Two last night, and finished doing so this morning, so chapter eight is locked and loaded, which means I'm ready to get chapter nine started. I did some amazingly helpful scene plotting while at work on Friday (shout out to spontaneously creative bathroom breaks), so I have some foundation on where the chapter is going. But Benzo FaceTimed me, saying we were gonna get together after all because her mom gave her some money for us to eat and thus we got to hang out. Later in the day, after running an errand for my grandma, and needing to get out of the house because there's literally 18 people living here and I'm over it, we met up at Red Palace and got our asses some Chinese. It was so goodly, but I think she was over it haha. Honestly, low-key, I really miss Lin's House. That shit was amazing. But we had a good time. And we didn't have anywhere to go and no money to really do anything with, so we just hung out in my car, caught up on each other's lives, and laughed and had a good time. We also talked about how determined we are to get our shit together this year and get the place we've always wanted together. I really really want to be a better me this year, and I think she does to. And with so many people currently living where I'm at, I'm all the more eager to have my own place. Plus we listened to Camila Capello's three songs from her upcoming album on like a loop while looking for places to live and while I shortly browsed cars to trade in to lower my monthly payment haha. Fun was had by all.

Jesus, this was pretty long haha. Probably the longest blog I've done since recapping stopped. And I realize that this blog was mostly recapping, but a lot happened this week and I just needed it to be done haha.

Here's to 2018 throwing me more tee balls and less curve balls,

-- Justin

No comments:

Post a Comment