I'm dancing reckless but it's all a lie, Don't have the patience to even say goodbye. Last thing I should be doing, But I keep doing it again and again. Lately been thinking maybe, The beat will save me from all of my friends. How you feeling? Heartbroken and jonesing for a nicotine rush, Like a sad and lonely lush, alright. How you feeling? Three shots and hoping I'm not letting you down, 'Cause I don't do well in crowds, alright. Drown it out, turn it out. So tell me how you feeling! I'm feeling, I'm feeling, I'm feeling, I'm feeling, Alright, Alright.
___________________________________________________
It's so weird, thinking about the past few days. Because they haven't been awful? Like this week has been abnormally tame compared to weeks of the past, especially last week which was just really rough in a general sense. But I'm into it. I hope that it contingency because I have to work this weekend, and it would just be really great if that feeling of not wanting to explode from being Lucifer Christian Darkness. And even though I'm sort of not feeling work tomorrow, I'm glad some of my favorite people will be joining me.
After writing my last blog, my sleep has been compromised, but not in the way that it usually is. Normally, I just won't get any good sleep, but otherwise, I'm ready to go. Since my last blog? I've been actually having trouble getting out of bed. Like I know that I have to, because of work, but I literally can't even will myself out of bed. I wasn't late for work or anything, but it was just actually physically difficult to get myself out of bed. I don't know what's been wrong with me. Even today, on my day off, I laid in bed for almost two hours, just laying there, because I couldn't be bothered to get up an be productive. Who knows, maybe I'm on my plan or something.
The thing that kept me going throughout the day at work was the fact that TV was returning. TGIT houses two of my favorite shows of all time, so I was so excited. Plus, the enigmatic return of Will & Grace just makes my heart sing a ballad of years lost without this show. Will & Grace is one of my feel good shows, and having it back on the air, is just something that I'll never get over. It's just wonderful. So work wasn't too bad, I honestly can't even remember. I stuck to my guns and got to do everything I would normally be able to do. The only other thing I remember was that my Netflix wasn't working and I couldn't watch That '70s Show, and I haven't watched any since my last blog. Literally rude. But it was a good day.
Yesterday was good because my shows were obviously fire, and I was thinking about them all day. But also Shania Twain's new album came out! I, of course, supported the hell out of my queen by buying a physical album, because I just have to, it's her first album in 15 years! I'm such a massive Shania fan, so her having a new album out after so long is so special to me. I still haven't listened to it yet because I was going to react to it, but now, I don't think I'm going to. I'm just not feeling like recording anymore. I don't know. I'll still be recording my reaction to reputation because that's something I really want to do, but until then, I think I'm out of reactions. But I got to take the cardboard cutout of Shania home! Here's a picture of the queen.
And even though I said I'm probably not doing anymore reaction videos, I did react to Demi Lovato's new album, Tell Me You Love Me, which was a hoot and a holler. Here's that video if you want to see me react to my last video until November.
So that was fun. But then today, I just wasn't feeling anything, Mr. Krabs. I don't know why. I guess I'm just sort of feeling weird for whatever reason. Maybe it's the Lucifer Christian Darkness in me, but who can never be sure? I did do a small amount of writing, and typed up the rest of chapter six up in Scrivener, so that's productive. But other than that, all I've done on my day off is watch videos and think about things that I'm not doing, and I don't know what's wrong with me. This week hasn't been bad at all, but I don't know what's going on with me today. Benzo FaceTimed me there a while ago, talking about getting together, so maybe that'll happen, and cheer me up. Who the hell knows what's going on with me, to be honest. Maybe I just need some sleep. Or see my best friend.
I apologize for this being a shit blog. I'm just not into it today.
Vying for light, but always housing some darkness,
You felt this one coming and so did I, I felt you fall back, but I can't let go. We both can be fragile, But I'll be the first to say, It breaks me to break you. Can't count the times, that you crossed over the line, But it don't get easier. And it stopped being fun, but we don't trigger the gun, And it don't get easier. Now you got what you need, I should be relieved, But it don't get easier. It goes on and on and on, You're still the one, the one, the one. Hey baby. Bittersweet, I know. So bittersweet, I know. Hit repeat, let's go. I try but I can't deny you. Bittersweet, I know. So bittersweet, I know. Hit repeat, let's go. I try but I can't deny you. ___________________________________________________________
So the beginning of this blog, meaning the first day of this episodic remembrance, was absolutely wonderful. Obviously, I was off from work. And I spent the entire day writing! I'm absolutely loving these #ScribingSundays because they mean so much to me. For me to be able to hone my craft and get all of this work done by hunkering down, listening to music, and drinking insane amount of coffee, is just a thrill for me. Huge shoutout to Sleeping With Sirens' Gossip album. I downloaded it last night and fell in love with it. I listened to it while writing and then went on this crazy alt pop listening party while I was writing and it was just the best. I finished chapter six! I'm so proud of myself. I wrote about 14 pages today, so I call that a success. I just absolutely love where this novel is going, and how the scenes are working out. It's just honestly my life's work. I've just never been more sure that writing is what I was meant to do.
I didn't really stray too much from the writing all day long, except to eat the amazing hamburger pie that my grandma made for dinner (Literally one of my favorites that she makes), as well as getting all of my laundry done, and then being a super detective haha. I set up an okcupid account (Why, I don't know) and found someone from high school, who's married, and not supposedly anything but straight? It's just weird. A weird situation. I won't even bore you with the details. I'm just way too good of a detective for my own good.
And then I took a detour after I finished writing everything on paper and watched Gaga's documentary on Netflix, Gaga: Five Foot Two. That bitch had me bawling my eyes out, and I didn't sign up for that haha. But honestly, it was really good, I enjoyed it. It also gave me a chance to relisten to Joanne and I actually really love the album? I listened to it after the documentary, while typing up most of the chapter into Scrivener, and I didn't give it a good enough chance. But then all I did was take a quick shower, and get into bed with The Simpsons. C'est la vie.
Also, I don't think I mentioned in Saturday's blog that I ran into someone from high school on Friday at work? Good ol' Cheesy, my fellow Collage member. I got the tea on his w-m career, sis, and it was SCALDING. But that was fun.
The beginning to the work week was bizarrely wonderful? I know, I can't even believe I'm saying as such. But it's true, and that's literally crazy. After taking my shower and realizing that it was already past eleven, I figured I wasn't going to get that great of sleep. I also set-up the next chapter of Book Two in the shower, where my muse apparently lingers. I woke up Monday morning feeling pretty good, and pretty well rested for the six hours of sleep I got. And I just, felt good going into work. Maybe I was still riding the high from finish chapter six, or maybe it was the massive jug of coffee I had on the way to work, but whatever it is or was, I'm super into it.
Apparently there wasn't a truck last night, so that helped with freight. All I had was a cart of picks, so that was very easily managed. Plus I only had about 58 price changes, ditto on the manageable, and it just made for a really good day. I won't mention the sad parts (i.e, that really happened Sunday about Alynn but ya know). And then? Teresa, Pam and I (Aka LunchCrew2K17) went to Applebee's because we are absolutely obsessed with the Double Bacon Chicken Sandwich that we had last Wednesday because the bacon onion jam is literally to die. Anyway, if it's not at your table in 12 minutes or less, it's free. And ours was over time, so we got FREE LUNCH. Like, what? Literally a miniscule miracle to help keep the day underwraps from being hellish. Totes loves it.
Seanathan Michael made an appearance (Even though he was supposed to be off until Wednesday) because of BTS price changes, so Morgan and I helped him out with that. So that was pretty fun in that I had good company with me while dwindling down work. All I could think about while I was at work though was writing more in Book Two. Because I didn't get to do any writing during lunch, I was jonesing. Like for a smoke, but with less medical hazards. I'm just so ready to dive back in. And my weekend writing is going to be screwed up this week because I work this weekend. So that's a joy and a half. But I was so UHFUNDED because there's this little notebook in Stationary called "Little Fat Book" and I was like WHY LORD. I kept calling it Slightly Bloated Book because I told Seanathan Michael and Claudia and Zach that fat was a slur and I wasn't standing for it. I'm a mess haha. LIKE WHY YOU GOTTA ADD LITTLE TO IT LIKE ITS DEMEANING. I'll stop, I swear.
I filmed a new reaction video, to Fergie's Double Duchess album. I'm not even going to say anything, I'll just post it below. I'm editing the rest of it tomorrow, and yeah. Here's the video for anyone interested. I just...yeah.
But even before that, I did my boosts for tayloswifttix and my priority is completely filled? Like I think I'm first in line? HOW CRAZY IS THAT LIKE WHAT. I'm super excited about that. I also decided to buy the hoodie when I get paid again (I know, I have a problem). And to finish my boosts, I decided to watch That's 70's Show from the beginning, like during my evenings before bed, so that's going to be fun. I've always been a fan of the show, and seen most of the episodes, but never in seqeunece. I'm excited for that. Then it was Simpsons rush and a nice lay down for the night. But then as soon as I was about to go to bed, there's a new video to gain boosts on for taylorswifttix! The Taylor Mountain video, so obviously I stayed up to gain them extra ten boosts, henny.
Darkness decided to descend upon my day yesterday. Because why not? I blame the fact that Monday was such a good day. But ya know. I had 3 carts of freight to run, 3 endcaps to change, price changes, and the labelling and capping of all my bins. There was just no way. I was so stressed out and everything. But I just did what I could do. And even though I stayed until 5, not everything was finished, but I said screw it and went home. Everyone always freaks out before our Market Manager comes and I just can't handle it most of the time. But Whatevs. When I got home, I basically just did my boosts while watching That '70s Show, which honestly has been such a saving grace lately. I was looking forward to watching it all day. And then I took my happy ass to bed. I was going to head into work about an hour early, but I wanted more sleep instead. So I only went in like thirty minutes early this morning.
But I got all my labeling done, so that was a plus. And I knew that I was going to leave a little early because of the time I accumulated yesterday so. But it ended up being a pretty good day. Aside from AP thinking they run the place, but is that really different than any other day? Survey says no. Anyway, I got to follow routine and everything, always an upside. But in the meeting they broke the news that our Market is changing, so we have a new Market Manager now, which meant that our normal one wasn't coming to our store, so basically everyone was freaking out for no reason, what else is new. Pam, Teresa, and I headed to lunch together. Back to the 'Bees because we are literally addicted to the Double Bacon Chicken Sandwich. It's so fucking good. Then afterwards, Pam and I headed to get our CBLs done, which was fun. We were over it, and Shanan made an appearance, and we love her. Then it was price changes and counts and it was time to go.
And something amazing happened before I left. Seanathan Michael stopped me as I was leaving and asked me about something he heard. Basically? The thing I've been trying to talk to him about. So I confirmed what he had heard, and we talked about it. After how long? haha. But I'm SO GLAD that's finally off my chest. As far as it actually happening, I don't know, that's still up in the air. But I'm really hoping that it all works out. I could really use the less stress, and the time to finally get this ear checked out. It feels like I can actually breathe.
When I got home, I was going to hit straight to the boosts, but they hadn't lapsed yet. So I started watching That '70s Show, because honestly, it's becoming ritual at this point. I browsed around on YouTube when Benzo called me, and we caught up. Then she FaceTimed me again to tell me that the girl she's friends with that had added my book to her list way back when left a rating and a review of my book on Goodreads! I was ecstatic! And she rated it 4 out of 5 stars and I'm just so happy. I love hearing that feedback from people, and this is sort of the first feedback I've gotten from someone that isn't family, so I'm super excited by it. Also, Cheyenne from work (I call her Cheyenne Michaela because my middle name thing has spread throughout the store) said she was going to read it on her days off, so maybe that'll happen and she'll possibly have some kind words for me, I hope. But yeah, super super exciting. This was literally me reading it.
Maybe this week isn't going so bad after all? And tomorrow is the return of TV? Greys, HTGAWM, and THE RETURN OF WILL & GRACE!? Can you tell I'm excited? I'm so ready. Oh, I guess I should explain the title of this blog haha. Well, it comes from That '70s Show (The show I've only mentioned about 23456789765432 times in this blog, right?). Back when I used to catch it randomly on tv, during it's original run, I used to think this was part of the opening credits. You know how at the end of the opening credits, it says 'Hello, Wisconsin!!" because the show is set in Wisconsin? Well, this dumb bitch thought that they were saying 'As long as God said!', which looking back was weird because it's not like the show is super religious haha. I'm an idiot.
I just took a DNA test, Turns out I'm 100% that bitch, Even when I'm crying crazy. Yeah I got boy problems, That's the human in me. Bling bling, then I solve them, That's the goddess in me.
You could've had a bad bitch, Non-committal. Helped you with your career, Just a little. You're supposed to hold me down, But you're holding me back. And that's the sound, Of me not calling you back. Why men great 'till they gotta be great? Don't text me, tell it straight to my face. Best friend sat me down in a salon chair, Shampoo press, get you out of my hair. Fresh photos with the bomb lighting, New man on the Minnesota Vikings. Truth hurts, needed something more exciting.
___________________________________________________
Surprisingly, in a new turn of light, the past couple days haven't been too hellish. Literally such a blessing. But that's mainly because I've pushed my saving graces to their limits to help me out lately. Shout out to my vices.
Heading back into work after the horrific day that I had on Wednesday was rough. Pretty rough, actually, but I expected as much. I didn't get a lot of sleep, I kept waking up and tossed and turned throughout the majority of the night. I ended up getting up a little early and treating myself to some breakfast at McDonald's because I just knew that it was going to be a rough sight getting back into the place that just sixteen hours ago had literally driven me to the brink of crying. But it ended up not being too bad. It was work, like usual. My ear didn't bother me, which is a godsend. It usually bothers me about three out of five work days nowadays, so I'm thankful for whenever it doesn't uphold to that awful standard. I don't really remember a whole lot about work, so it must not have been too terribly bad. I do remember that I was just feeling down and depressed about everything, so I treated myself. I went ahead and paid out the remaining balance on my layaway and got the Beats that I had put on hold. And they literally have revolutionized my life. It's like I've never listened to music before. It's absolutely insane. Plus, they're going to help loads with my writing now that I have a pair of super high quality headphones, so honestly, it's just a good investment. So that was awesome.
And then when I came home, my rep merch was waiting on me! It was such a wonderful way to come home after this really rough and tumultuous week, that it literally made my soul smile to see my latest Taylor Swift dedicated purchases. I think I immediately put on my white rep shirt, with the album cover blazed on the front, and ended up sleeping in it. Because I just needed the comfort of Taylor. But here's a couple pictures of my soul saving babies.
Today I'm wearing the black rep one, and Benzo kept telling me how good it looked on me, even though I disagree, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Friday, meaning yesterday, actually ended up being a pretty decent work day, which was shocking. The night before, I was so exhausted from the week, that I ended up laying down for bed at, I think, around 7:30. And after a brief phone call with Benzo, I was asleep before 9pm. I kept waking up, because I was worried I would oversleep, but I ended up getting some much needed rest and when I woke up during my alarm the following morning for work, I actually felt refreshed for the first time in I couldn't tell you how long. So that was a wonderful way to take myself into work on Friday morning. And like I said, it ended up being a pretty decent day. I ended up spending the entire day moving features around to make room for the ones that had come in off of the truck, but it kept me busy literally all day. And I finally finished all those damned label changes, so that was even better.
And for the first time I, God, I literally have no idea, I wrote in my novel during lunch! I haven't done that in probably before I moved over to Toys. It's been so long since I've done it, I couldn't even begin to guess as to when the last time was, but I was super grateful for it. Shout out to my wonderful new Beats for surrounding me with the beautiful Chester Lockhart music that my writing was flowing perfectly in tune with. It was such a wonderful feeling to feel that flow again at Hardees during lunch. I left thinking about how writing is my true calling, showcasing my talent and introducing these characters that live in my soul is what I'm meant to do, and being able to have the time to do it is a true blessing on this Earth.
After work, I ended up playing a little Splatoon 2, but just decided to hang out most of the night. I had to drop my grandma off at a funeral, her second of the week (which is super sad), so that was A-Okay. But then I came back home and chilled. She brought back a friend with her, that gave her a ride home, and her and Billie Ruth had a good ol time, getting drunk together out in the backyard haha. It was nice to see my grandma let loose for once, so I was happy for her. Plus, Billie Ruth, the friend, said hi to me and said "Oh, you're the grandson, the writer!" and I just really love that that's what's attached to me, because that's what I truly am at heart. And hearing someone recognize that and point that out in me was just really heartwarming.
Today was a little harder, because I didn't get to do everything that I wanted to do done. I ended up sleeping in, which was wonderful, and felt well rested for the second night in a row, so God bless for that tiny little miracle. But I didn't finish all of my laundry. There's always Tamar Braxt, but I really wanted to finish it today. But I went and got lunch for me and my grandpa up at BK (I'm literally addicted to the BBQ Bacon King) so that was fun. Also, those pajama pants that I bought at Target when I was last out with Benzo? I made them into shorts and I'm obsessed. They have little sailboats on them and they're super comfortable and dark blue and I just love them. But the ends are fraying from where I cut them, so I was gonna redneck that shit and staple them, but when I asked my grandma about it, she actually taught me something very useful called stitch witchery? Yeah, I literally had no idea what it was, but it bonds the fabric together so you can hem them perfectly, and get rid of the fraying ends. You need an iron, but hell, it's super useful. I'm so thankful for moments like that, where my grandma and I can bond over something that I'll definitely use in the future, and it was fun having that moment together. Thanks Mawmaw! Then I got a FaceTime call from Benzo, and her work is really trying it, y'all. Like I'm so confused as to how they are treating her, and brandishing such a weirdly heavy hand, that I don't even know what to say about it. But obviously, she was upset. And after following texts, I decided to go down to her. Because that's what you do for your soulmate.
We ended up, overall, having a pretty good time. Jamming out to Lizzo's newest track (Peep that NP for the promo) and we've been loving it ever since she introduced it to me last night haha. But we headed to Cheddar's and their damn sidewalk caught my home girl. I was really worried when she fell, and I was super worried when she kept talking about being in pain / sore. But she pushed through, because she's an actual angel gracing mortals with her presence on Earth. It didn't help that the hostess at the restaurant was tracking us all over the damn place, not seating us, which was just weird and I've never had that happen before. But we had a great waiter and a great meal, complete with drinks to take our mutual edges off with, so that was a delight.
And now, since I've been back home, I've just been getting ready to write this blog. And now that it's fully written, I'm ready to lay down with The Simpsons. I don't think I mentioned it in my last blog, but I subbed out watching Queer As Folk again with starting The Simpsons from the beginning. I've actually not been giving The Simpsons credit for their first two seasons. They're actually really really good, despite the lack of animation. But hey, that's the 80's for ya. I'm still on Season Two at the moment, and just watched the first ever Treehouse of Horror episode. God, I love those things. Anyway, it's off to bed for me. Definitely hoping for another #ScribingSunday tomorrow, but after the week that's transpired, I'm not going to force feed the creativity and motivation. Chillax is my mood for the upcoming week.
If my last blog post was the preamble to hell, then this blog is the epicenter of the eternal fire. It's been such a rough couple of days, that I don't even know where to begin. As usual, it's because of work stress that I'm out of sorts. I mean, how many blogs can I count that don't involve me reeling from work, and end up emotionally shorthanded during the weekend? I can count the ones that I don't on one hand, I would imagine. I just, I don't know. I know I keep saying that, but this time, I really don't. Especially after today. Even yesterday was absolutely horrific and my blood pressure was on such an emotional roller coaster, that for today to also be such a soulful whirlwind, it's all too overwhelming. Anyway, on to the main course.
The last day of my weekend was spend relaxing. I literally played more video games than I did writing, because it was just an off day in respect to writing, I guess. But at least I've been getting back into Splatoon 2. I've been playing so much Mario Kart lately that I've neglecting my lil baby. But Splatoon has been fire. Like today, I played six matches in a row that I WON. SIX. I've never won that much in a row because I always have to be the mom of the team and cover the HQ, but that's neither here nor there. Back to my point. I ended up playing a bunch of Splatoon and just being Lays Potato Chips and watching YouTube videos and whatnot. That part was great. But, like usual, the work week started, and thus Hell on Earth was unleashed.
So I can't really speak to this for Monday. Monday really was the MVP of the week. It wasn't a bad day, but I still wasn't able to stick to routine. Mainly because I had 660 price changes drop, but what can you do? I worked hard to get them cut in half at least, on top of running freight and everything else. They also had us in Infants for like an hour, just zoning, so that cut into time I could have been executing processes, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, Marty. They've also restarted the zone at two, and we're not allowed to do anything else but zone. So that's also been cutting into time. But ya know. Like I said, Monday was a blessing in comparison. A true, god-fearing blessing.
Because yesterday, I just can't. Like it actually causes me physical pain to think about. Actual lacerations across my heart. But I'll do my best. So walking in, there was more freight than usual for my department. Which isn't to say that it was a lot, a cart and a pallet, but still more than I normal would have, and thus throwing me off of my normal routine for the day. So there was that. Then my blood pressure met its first spike when I was told that the things I was already working, i.e., the pallet and the cart, was already worked. Which I found funny because everything that I was working was going out. Which means that someone wasn't doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing, which is so frustrating, because it means I have to go back and double check, and waste more time. But yeah. Especially when the home is empty? So frustrating. Then the second spike hit when Seanathan Michael told me that there was my stuff in the wrong bin and there was more to run. Then I check behind him, just to make sure he got everything, and I'm finding stuff that's being hidden behind over boxes. I was livid. I saw red. I heard sirens. Kill Bill sirens. I was a man possessed. It was just enough. It was just a dark day. And then the third spike came in knowing that tomorrow, meaning today, was going to be rough because Wednesday's are notoriously hard because most people have it off. And it was. Oh, it really was.
But it was so bad that I texted Benzo and asked if we could meet up at Alejandro's and pig out like the fatty fatty fat fat that I am. So we did, and it was scrumptious as usual. Then we went to Ross and Target, where I was literally blown away by their men's clothing selection. I very rarely go to Target, and probably haven't been in one since 1989 came out, so there's that. But they have multiple size fats so I was in heaven. Then we headed out to see mother!, which was a weird...interesting movie. Like, it has you going until the very last frame. It's crazy. But an interesting, good kind of crazy. I think. I'm still trying to process the damn thing haha.
I also had another nightmare last night. More murder and craziness matching some stuff from the weekend. In last night's, it was sort of like a movie. I was part of a group of teenage friends, and they were offed by a killer. The killer was revealed, three of us, myself included survived. Then it went like a year or so later, and we had new friends with us, and all but the three of us were killed again. It was revealed that one of the three of us were the killer this time, mourning over the loss of one of the friends from the first killing, blaming us for surviving. They murdered us before killing themselves. Then a third one, where I was inhabiting a new character, that ended up being the killer and getting away with it. I have fucked up dreams, y'all.
Today was a behemoth of underestimation. A unfathomable decline in moral, integrity, and overall work ethic. I'm still trying to recover from what happened today. I'll do my best not to lose it, to be honest. So everything was fine. Not fine, but better than yesterday. Even went back out to lunch with Teresa and Pam today (We also went out Monday and I ate at Zaxby's for the first time {it was alright}), and everything was just mediocre. Then the shrink meeting happened. And it wasn't too bad, until it took a turn for the worst. After AP asked us a question, on how we were gonna fix blah blah issue and what the issue was, we gave reasons. And verbatim? "Well if all you're gonna do is complain, then you need to quit your job. You're being paid to do a job for a reason, and if you can't do it without complaining, then you can go. You're all replaceable." I fucking kid you not. I was livid. I saw red. I heard sirens. Kill Bill sirens. It was just too much. I still can't get over it. I still have no idea how I'm going to go in there tomorrow and do my job without plateauing in depression. It's going to be so hard.
Tonight was the finale of Big Brother. Paul didn't win. Pissed. But ya know. And the title of this blog comes from what I've been saying lately. I always say Jesus H a lot, and ended up giving it a working middle name, since I have an infatuation with middle names for some reason. Also, during mother!, I came up with Lucifer Christian on the fly, because I'm HILARIOUS. Ignore me, I'm depressed. The one thing that's been keeping me going is Keep Me Coming, and Future Friends the album in general, keeping me pumped up. AND. My reputation merch is going to be here Tamar Braxt! I'm so excited to see it all. So that'll at least get me through the day. Or, at least, I'm hoping.
| Now Playing: Save Me From Myself by Chester Lockhart |
Tired, I'm tired of losing sleep. Tensions too high, But I'm in too deep. Pain, Is like a dear old friend. No matter where we start, Together in the end.
I got with Dennis about my back wall, and it needing to be organized and some of the deleted needed to be taken to clearance, and I actually got the okay to mark stuff down, as long as it was nine dollars and under. Which I'll take at this point. At least most of it was around that price and was able to go down. I put stuff that was over that on clearance labels anyway, and it helped drive some sales that way, so I'm not complaining. The only problem was that this project was going to take up the majority of my time, from organizing everything, getting everything accurately priced, and then marking down the things that I was able to markdown, I was looking at an all-day, if not most-day, project. Which meant that there was no way I was going to be able to stay in routine, but it had to be done. The only other problem with this, was that a particular Elderly Duo kept on getting in my way.
Riffling through the buggy of markdown items, giving me hard glances, and hovering around me for THREE HOURS. I come back from lunch, and think all is well. Cut to an hour and a half later, when I'm actually getting somewhere and marking down the markdown items, who pops in for a rude hello? I was over it. It literally was making my blood pressure boil, and considering that this was happening not only for long periods of time but also multiple times throughout the day? They were making MARCUS come out. I jokingly talked about this on Tuesday, when we had to move the BTS stuff to L&G. I was joking with Zack that I had a demon inside of me, and his name was MARCUS. It was just a joke and the first name that popped into my head at that moment. And I've decided that it's preferred if his name is in all caps (I swear, I'm not actually insane). But the reason this blog is titled after this hypothetical and imaginary hell-dweller is because it's just how I've been feeling lately. What with AP getting on my last possibly nerve on Wednesday, and then the Elderly Duo on Thursday, it was just enough.
Then, after work on Thursday, I debated on whether or not I should wait until midnight to film my reaction to Superfruit's album, which arrived at midnight, or wait until I got off work on Friday to do it. I was going to wait until Friday, but my grandma let me know that Jessie, my cousin, was coming down for the weekend, and since I presumed that she was bringing Aidyn with her, I opted for Thursday night instead. I didn't want to wake the baby or anything with my loud reacting ass, so I had to stay up to film it. Which sucked, because I was dead tired after dealing with the Elderly Duo and marking down items earlier in the day. But I did it. I waiting for Part Two of Future Friends to come out on iTunes by go ahead and reacting to the Part One songs while waiting. So that was fun. And the Part Two songs are SO GOOD. Scott and Mitch really set the bar high with the music, and I'm obsessed. Their music is so different, especially for pop music, and it's so fucking good. I'm also pretty proud of the album cover I made for the album, which I did Friday night while organizing the album titles and added Sweet Life (A track only on their YouTube channel). I'll insert the album cover because I'm obsessed with my handiwork and also my YouTube video of my reaction of the album. NOTE: I didn't edit the base picture of Scott & Mitch, the ball pit picture which I love so much. I just superimposed the logo and matched the color of the album title and everything with the background from the picture I found through Google. But here ya go anyways.
My song in the NP was going to be Hurry Up! by Superfruit, because I kept singing it all day at work Friday, but I kept going back to Chester's song, especially today on my day off. After filming my complete reaction, I was so tired, so I headed to bed. And since I finished Queer As Folk, as I previously mentioned, I didn't know what to watch. I tried a few shows I'd never watched before, then opted for HTGAWM Season 3 rewatch, but I wasn't feeling it. I guess I was too damaged by my loss of Queer As Folk haha. So I just started replaying it again. I know, I'm trash. But what else is new?
Then I woke up and headed to work. But I woke up from the weirdest dream. Literally, the weirdest. I had a dream that I was a Power Ranger (super dork, I know) and it was set during this sort of post-apocalyptic world where Rangers were the sources of power in the country, whether it be political, social, or otherwise. Basically, if you weren't a Power Ranger, you weren't worth anything. Apparently, it got this way because a lone Ranger decided that normal mortals were beneath them, and they rose through the ranks until the world became post-apocalyptic and they affirmed their seat of power. Anyway, there was a rogue group of Rangers, desperately trying to restore order to the world, and give power back to those that deserved it, and needed it. I was a part of the Rogue Rangers. Anyways, so it was my job to sneak into this Power Rangers base, right. And this thing was guarded by some of the strongest Rangers that had ever morphed. And I had to sneak on, without morphing, to retrieve some type of device or something or other that was the source of this tyrannical leader Ranger's powers of success. So I made it through this entire weird obstacle course, Great Wall of China-looking base, and met up with a small group of fellow Rouge Rangers at the rendezvous point, which was the power device we needed to acquire. Well, the leader of the Rogue Rangers? Was my Tumblr crush haha. This guy that I think is super cute that I follow on Tumblr (He's also a fellow Swiftie, but I'm trash where he's health, so there's literally nothing there, but I can still dream). I don't even know his real name, but I digress. He was the leader of the Rogue Rangers and he said "We have to get this right." And wouldn't you know it, one of the Elite Rangers popped up, intent on stopping us from getting the device. She morphed, and her suit was very reminiscent of the Yellow Mighty Morphin Ranger, but the suit looked different and the helmet was as well, and I attempted to morph but she knocked me off the ledge we were on. The rest of the Rogue Rangers scattered, and my Tumblr crush rushed to my aid and said "We have to get out of here. The rest of the world will die along with us if we let them win." And I remember running with him to safety and I woke up. I know, it's weird. But honestly, it was kind of everything. I've always wanted to be a Power Ranger.
Anyway, now that I'm done embarrassing myself, work wasn't too bad yesterday. I also did routine. Capping and all. It was a pretty good day. Nothing really major happened. Oh, I forgot to mention, on Thursday, after the blow up with AP, I skipped the morning meeting Thursday. I had a lot of work to do anyway, with the markdown thing going on, so it was all well. Apparently nothing was said. They didn't even do the cheer that morning. Petty. Anyways, Friday was good. I got to do my thing, helped out a couple people, Morgan was at Academy, so I helped with price changes. All in all, it was a good day.
There was a new sneak peak at a behind the scenes video for Taylor's LWYMMD video, so that was fun. But as soon as I got home, I had to get to work editing the Superfruit video, so that's all I did. By the time I was done, Jessie was here. As was my cousin Taylor, so we all hung out for a few. They were gonna play Monopoly, and wanted me to join, but when they left to get Taylor's brother, they weren't back at 10, and home girl was TIRED. So I ended up going to bed and falling asleep almost instantly. I found out later that they didn't even play, and Taylor ended up going home, so all was well.
But sleeping didn't go so well for me. Firstly, I kept on waking up thinking that I had to work because that's how hard I was sleeping. I was so tired from trying to stay up to hang out with my cousins, and it just fucked with for some odd reason. Then, I had two terrifying, weird, nightmares. Well, the first one wasn't so weird. I had this dream where these people were breaking into the house. But like it started outside, where I was like with my grandparents and they pulled up in this truck and suddenly we were inside. And then the next thing I knew, one of the girls is in the house and she pulls a gun, and I start running. I mean, I booked it. I remember running in zig zags, so they couldn't get a good aim on me, and I ran through the yard and the church (I live next door to a church, ironic, I know) and heading towards the road, but there were no cars. I woke up in a flourish. I rose up off my bed a little bit. Because what scared me the most was the first shot the girl made. I felt the bullet graze my thigh, and it really fucked me up. I reluctantly went back to sleep and had an equally scary but much more weird dream. In this one, I was back at my Lake Lane house with my mom and I had a sister? Which is weird, because I only have a brother, but ya know, dream logic. Anyways, she had this boyfriend that could morph into a snake? Did I mention that it was a weird dream? Anyway, her boyfriend was the guy who plays Josh on Being Human, a show I only watched half of the first episode of, and he morphed into half snake, half man and, like, injected his tail into my "sister" and said she was impregnated with hybrid snake-human babies that would kill her from the inside out, then we locked him in a room. I went running because I'm terrified of snakes, and he morphed into a snake and chased me out of the house, and outside, until I felt my body giving up, screaming for my mom, and right before the snake got to me, I woke up.
I was so freaked out, I had to get out of the house. I checked the time, it was only seven in the morning. But I was freaked the fuck out. I got in my car, and drove. I ended up getting some breakfast at McDonalds, and was still reeling from how those dreams got to me. It was just a really weird situation.
I came home, did some writing, then decided to play some Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (I blame Joe for his recent Let's Play of it), and that's all I've done all day, besides bingeing some Try Guys videos, and the Buzzfeed Queer Prom videos, which literally melted my ice heart. Then Jessie say my genius snapchat of Waluigi in slow-motion with the track in the NP playing haha. I think I'm literally so funny. Anyway, she came in and we played a few rounds of Mario Kart. All in all, a good way to spend my day off. Just next time, hold the slasher movie / snake humanoid dreams, okay?
Not exactly a demon but probably a descendant of one,
Used to walk around your apartment, Nothing but a smile on me. But tonight I'm so self conscious, Isn't it so clear to see? Nothing's ever perfect in paradise, Don't know what it's worth 'til you pay the price, When you bite your tongue does it draw blood? So are we leaving, this Garden of Eden? Are we leaving, this Garden of Eden? Now I know, what I know, But it's hard to find a meaning. Where do we go, 'cause we don't, Believe in this Garden of Eden. _____________________________________________________
The past few days since my last blog have been pretty weird, I guess. Just weird, really. Sunday was wonderful, because I was still off. I got a little bit of writing done, but not too much. After writing almost the entire weekend I had off, I was sort of more than creatively drained. But getting 25 pages done over the course of three days is a feat nonetheless.
I also finally got to get together with Benzo on Sunday, and it was much needed. After she got off work, we met up at the usge, good ol' Alejandro's. We had a great time, and the food of course was hella good so we kept on dancing. The title of this blog also comes from out time together, as I'm hilarious and said this when retelling to her about work. But it's also fitting, seeing as how work went on Tuesday. I'm literally just hilarious is the moral of the story.
Work on Monday, was actually pretty amazing. And given how the setup to work began, that's a miracle. Sunday night, I couldn't sleep. I was nervous about going into work because I had called out, and no matter the just reason, I felt guilty for not being there. I guess that's just the person that I am. I didn't fall asleep until around 3:30 in the morning, and considering I have to be up at 6 for work, it just was awful. Heading into work was rough, super rough. I was so tired, and on top of all the worries I had, it was just a lot to deal with. But like I said, the day ended up being pretty great. I actually was able to follow routine and just had a really good day. But my ear acted up. It's important to note here that my ear didn't bother me ALL WEEKEND. But as soon as I get back to work? Intense ear pain, throbbing pain. It was so intense. I've really got to get this checked out.
We also have a new Co at the store. Dennis, and he's awesome. That was mainly presented on Tuesday. We were called to an early meeting to be told that we had to move BTS, take it to L&G, and then set the rest of Halloween. A mess. Literally, we weren't in out departments from the rest of the day. Literally until 4. But we were out of fixtures, and within ten minutes, Dennis had us some. I have a really good feeling about him. He's super great. I actually had to take the helm of BTS / Halloween project because there was just no direction going on and we needed to get it done. So I took on that role, and it turned out pretty good.
When I got off work, I filmed a new reaction video. I had the idea to react to someone I've never listened to, so I decided to react to Dua Lipa's debut album. She's been really popular on Tumblr, so I figured what the hick, why not. And I was impressed. Here's my video, if you'd like to watch it.
So there's me being the mess I usually am. But it was super fun to react to. Next up is Superfruit on Friday and I'm so excited! That's going to be so much fun. I absolutely love their music, and having another seven tracks to listen to is going to be hella good, so I'm sure I'll keep on dancing there as well.
Today was really good. Firstly, my time off got approved for Taylor Swift's album release! I'm super extra, I know, but to truly prepare myself, I need the day off. So thank God that's a real and true thing. Taylor would be proud haha.
And since I've been having such a hard time sleeping lately, after I got off work yesterday, I went straight to bed. Literally, right after dinner. I slept from 6:30 in the afternoon until 4:30 in the morning. THAT'S how tired I was. But I went ahead and stayed up once I got up this morning, because I had already slept for ten hours, so I figured I should get up for the day. I'm so sad though because I finished Queer As Folk. I'M LITERALLY SO SAD. I cried during the ending, even though I've seen it multiple times before. I just can't. Queer as Folk is such a damn good show. I just finished the last episode while I was doing my boosts for taylorswift.com after dinner tonight.
Then I caught the Nintendo Direct, literally nothing exciting but more info on UltraMoon and Mario Odyssey, but there ya go. No news on Smash, super annoyed at that. But that's about it. Oh, I also sort of talked to Dennis today about my feelings, the ones I've been trying to talk to Seanathan Michael lately (That's his new name, per me). I felt so relieved to get it off my chest, but I don't know what's going to happen with it. Probably nothing, but we shall see. Oh. And Bitch. I got selected to do the cheer this morning, and it went poorly. It was AP (I won't even bother saying her name) who kept egging me on, and I was like no, I'm not doing it. I just don't feel comfortable being put on the spot in front of a large group of people. That literally sets my anxiety on fire, and she was gasoline dangling over the flame. She pulled me aside after the meeting and said "you WILL do it next time." Not a chance, I'm not putting myself in that sort of situation. So yeah, that happened.
I'm gonna chill out for the rest of the night, maybe try and watch Big Brother, if I can.
I still taste your presence, Once sweet but it turned sour. Tried to shake your indifference, But it's too late now. I hear you in the quiet, I see you when I'm in the dark. You just couldn't fight for this, But it's not your fault. Say what you mean, out loud, Drowning in silence, when I'm lost in the crowd. 'Cause every sweet thing you never speak, Is deafening, never knowing what could be. Wish I could show you how, But you're just a ghost now. _____________________________________________________
Let's be real. I haven't really been listening to anything but ...Ready For It? since it came out the other night, but I fell in love with Gabbie Show's (It's literally so weird to type her real name, I always refer to her as Gabbie Show) song that she dropped. Plus, I love the idea that the song was constructed from her content from her upcoming book. That's such a cool concept. I might even have to look into reading Adultolescence. Back to the normal trash. I'm also writing this like I did the last blog, in installments during the actual day in which said events occurred.
Heading back to work after being off on Wednesday wasn't too bad. I still didn't want to go, because I just had a feeling that it was going to be one of those days. I suppose that's why I got up early enough to get myself some of that good good. By which I mean McDonald's breakfast. After jamming out to ...Ready For It? on a consistent loop, I headed into work. My first mistake. I was really feeling good, and ready to take on the day. But a couple of department managers called out, which is totally fine, but since we don't have other associates, i.e., people in the departments that can help out us DM's, to cover their areas when they are away. Which is why I knew it was going to be an interesting day. My third eye, per usge, proved victoriously clairvoyant. I was helping Morgan run back and forth to Sporting Goods all morning. Plus, there was something about the people today, Lord Jesus above, formerly of the Cross. I swear. There must have been irritation swimming in the air. But anyways. C'est la vie.
My ear was also super bothering me. Before the morning meeting, I literally had to clutch on to my cart to keep from losing both my balance and my consciousness. It's getting worse. So so much worse. I can only assume it's getting more and more exacerbated by the happenings at work, but I just don't know how much longer I'm going to have my hearing. And that simple fact, that actual possibility, scares the living shit out of me. I was thinking about it the other night, and it brought me to tears. That's something that could actually happen if I don't get this stress under control and this ear problem under control. I could lose my hearing.
Moving on, the customer I dealt with during Pick Up today? Nightmare. Total nightmare. Not to mention that it almost took me an entire hour to settle the thing. Let's just say that buying display TVs are a pain, especially when the markdown labels don't work. And then add that with a wandering customer, it's just a mess. But the day wasn't too bad overall, my ear was just really really bothering me. Like it really never has before. Normally, when it bothers me, it bothers me and then I pop it back into place, through painful procedures, and it's done. But today, it throbbed after I popped it back into place. Throbbed throughout the rest of the day. And while it wasn't extremely painful, but it was so uncomfortable, I couldn't focus. So that was weighing on my mind all day long. And, because I had the Trend Pod mods to set, I stayed until 5:30. Plus, I really needed to be able to see Skyler and give him proper direction. All in a days work, I suppose.
Right before I went on lunch, Taylor Swift dropped some videos that she did with AT&T. Thank God I switched a while ago. I'm so glad I have the service that she drops all this new and behind the scenes content haha. But they were pretty cute videos. Well, because of these videos, the Tix site for taylorswift.com has changed. Now, you can watch both of the AT&T videos for a boost. Ten views per day. So I thought I was getting a bunch more boosts, since the lyric video and music video for LWYMMD can be viewed up to 20 times a day. But they scalped the views down to 10 views per day for each video, leaving the grand total of views for all four videos to 40, which was the amount total for the two videos before. I know I sound like a crazy person, being this obsessed with boosts and shit, but I just really want good seats to this tour. I have a feeling that this tour, this album is going to be the best thing ever for me, especially for bringing me through the darkest bit of my depression that's been forming like algae around my heart lately.
After getting all my boosts in, it was time for Big Brother. And since my TV is still fighting me over control, I found a great livestream of the episode. I missed Wednesday's episode, but the recap on tonight's episode caught me up. And girl, it was fucking intense. They blindsided Jason, and he was PISSED. Alex was PISSED. It was PISSED. And like, emotional, because Christmas and Josh were crying during the breaking tie vote, which I said to myself the other day would be the best way to vote, so kudos to me for being a Big Brother genius strategizer. Then, since it was Double Eviction night, they voted Raven out instead of Kevin! WHAT?! I was SHOCKED. I have no idea what's going to happen now. There's an eviction on both Wednesday and Thursday next week, and then it's the final. So I'm hoping for Christmas, Alex, and Paul. But if they don't blindside Paul, it's his, he has it. He's played such a smart, incredible, genius game all summer. I fucking love Big Brother.
And then there was Friday. My ear was still really bothering me, and it was making me feel like absolute garbage, so I ended up taking the day off. I really hated to do it, but I was so tired and my ear was just keeping me up all night. Anyways, if I was going to have the day off and not be at work, I was determined to make it worth it, by getting some writing done. So I got up, made a pot of coffee, and I got to work. And man, I'm so glad I did. I wrote a whopping twelve pages! It was all this flashback scene that I really didn't know how to get right, but just diving right in seemed to have worked the best. It's so good. This second book, on a content level, is just surpassing the first one, and I absolutely adore the first book haha. This one is just so much more laser focused and outright. It's all going according to plan.
After working on the book for about five hours or so, I proceeded to just chill and watch some Queer As Folk. I'm on Season 4 now, and admittedly almost done. All that's left is Season 5 and I'll feel the heartbroken blues yet again over finishing another series during a rewatch. And then once it was late enough in the day, I worked on my boosts for taylorswift.com. Also! They had a couple of items on "backorder" which I was like what the hell is that. But it's letting you have items that were sold out. And one of them was the Rep hat! So obviously, I splurged and got it because I'm Taylor Swift trash.
Other than that, the day has been pretty lax. It was Taylor's birthday (My cousin, not the acclaimed artist of my heart), and she was supposed to come over with Nikki around 8, but that ended up not happening. So maybe we'll end up doing something for her on Saturday.
I woke up today, and immediately worked on making today a repeat of yesterday on the writing front. Got my coffee, got my music, and got to work. I'm so damn proud of myself for the work I've gotten done on writing these past few days. 12 pages yesterday and another seven done today, it's been amazing. I'm just super proud of myself for getting so much done since I did miss work yesterday. I'm glad I'm making the most of my time. I even typed up everything that I got done yesterday too. I've been a busy little writing bee. It seems like almost all I've done since my last blog is write, and I'm so damn glad that's been my reality for the past few days. Writing has always been my sanctuary, so it's been nice to have a little retreat from reality and getting into what truly makes me happy, and that's writing.
I took a little break to go get gas, before we possibly get any of this Hurricane Irma weather and prices go up even higher. Even though gas is already at two and half dollars. After helping these sweet people at the pump who were having some trouble, I got my gas and headed back home. Then I was energized to get some more writing done. Then after dinner, I ended up typing up what I had done yesterday and then I've been working on my boosts for taylorswift.com. I'm probably just going to watch Queer As Folk for the rest of the night haha. One more day of this wonderful weekend left, and then it's back to reality (oop, there goes gravity). I plan on getting some more writing done tomorrow, so let's hope that dream comes to fruition.
Knew he was a killer, First time that I saw him. Wonder how many girls he had left and left haunted. But if he's a ghost then, I can be a phantom, Holding him for ransom. Some, some boys are trying too hard, He don't try at all though. Younger than my exes but he act like such a man so. I see nothing better, I keep him forever, Like a vendetta. I see how this is gon' go, Touch me and you'll never be alone. Island breeze and lights down low, No one has to know. In the middle of the night, in my dreams, You should see the things we do, baby, mmm. In the middle of the night, in my dreams, I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time. Are you ready for it? ____________________________________________________________
Did you peep that song in the NP? That's right, Taylor dropped a new song, and I'm obsessed. This is literally a dream come true because not only is Taylor releasing new music for the first time in three years, but it really looks like she's going down a Dark Pop avenue. That's all I've ever wanted and more for Taylor, and it looks like that's what she's giving to me and I'm forever grateful for that. But enough about the Queen, let's get this blog underway. I'm trying something different on this one, because I felt like my blog's have been a little rushed lately, and I'm not really delving into what I've been feeling and everything. So, I'm going to write this blog post in installments, during the actual days that they happen so maybe I can accurately portray the picture I'm trying to convey. Alright, for real for real, on to the blog.
So after tuning into that horrendous football game Saturday night, and after freaking the fuck out that we were getting a new song, nothing happened. I don't know if I even mentioned it before, but it was randomly one night when the time stamp for "Track 1" showed up on iTunes, and it sat that way for a few days. And after Taylor liked that post from me, I was gone. G-O-N-E, gone, bitch. I was so excited, and I actually started messaging the girl who's post it was on Tumblr, and we sort of bonded and became friends, so that was nice. But there was no release of the song at midnight, or even an hour after, so I eventually fell asleep.
And then woke up to a massive shitstorm. I woke up, and the single had been out for just under an hour. I literally whipped my ass out of bed, got everything ready, and recorded my reaction to the track, now complete with an official name. The first track off of reputation is titled '...Ready For It?'. And here's my reaction to it for those interested.
As you can see, I was shooketh to the core. I was literally up for all of ten minutes before I was bopping my ass to this new track. The opening? Killed me. The verses? Revived me. The high notes and backing vocal? Killed me again. It's literally so good. ANDTHIS IS BASICALLY TAYLOR RAPPING LIKEWHAT? I can already see this being the opener for the Rep Tour, and hearing Taylor say 'Are you ready for it?' followed by that breaking synth swaying all over the arena. I can't fucking wait for it to happen. Also, my Target order didn't go through weirdly yesterday, so I reordered. And now, my albums purchased on taylorswift.com is finally correct now with how many I've purchased. So that ended up being wonderful.
All I've done with this singular day off is a big, fat, nothing. It's become rapidly apparent that I need one day to, like, detox from the week, and then I can get everything I need to get done. That's what's been so great about having weekends off. But since this was my weekend to work, that's not going to happen. I'm off on Wednesday this week, so I'm hoping that can be my day to get some writing done. But all in due time. I basically just watched Queer As Folk and scrolled through Tumblr all day. My TV isn't working right, so I had to miss Big Brother, even after catching up on the live eviction I missed working the Star Wars event Thursday night. So I've just been working on my boosts for taylorswift.com and watching Queer As Folk, which I finally started Season 3 of, for the past hours. I also took a little nap for I think two hours, it really disoriented me so I have no concept of when it happened and for how long, but yeah.
And then right before I went to bed, I decided to check my video, just to see if I had any comments. I love getting comments on my videos in general, but especially my reaction videos because it's literally me just being a mess and myself haha. Last time I checked it, like around the time I posted it, it was at like 300 views, which is CRAZY. Like that's so cool. So imagine my shock and surprise when I pull up my channel and I see that my reaction to ...Ready For It? is at an unimagined FIVE THOUSAND VIEWS. I literally was laying in bed, staring at my screen like...is this a glitch? No way there's five thousand people that have watched my video. But after refreshing it and everything, the thing was already almost at six thousand. LIKE WHAT?? Never in my wildest dreams (trademark, Taylor Swift) would I imagine gaining that many views over my silly self. But I'm SUPER grateful that people are liking my reaction. And there were so many comments! So, of course, I had to reply to all of them, it's the least I could do.
By morning, I was really thinking about taking a mental health day again, when weighing the thought of going into work. I just can't help feeling that way anymore. I love my job, and love having it, but I just really need to talk to Sean. So anyway, I headed to work, stopped and got some Hardee's because #TeamFat and #TrashFam. And as I was eating my breakfast, I decided to check my video again. I messaged Benzo about it the night before, but I knew she was asleep. So as I'm checking it, she texts me and is like ARE YOU FAMOUS which is hilarious because it's a little overwhelming knowing that many people have seen me acting like a literal fool on the internet, but like I've said, it's literally just me being myself, so oh well. But then she's like YOU'RE AT NINE THOUSAND NOW. I about choked on my biscuit. Sure enough, I was at nine thousand and counting. THAT'S LITERALLY SO CRAZY TO ME. This is super doubtful, but if anyone who reads this (lol) has watched the video, thank you. I'm so overwhelmed and excited by this fact.
So work was pretty normal, I guess "Thanks I guess". I didn't have a lot of freight, but Dwayne instantly was like "Can you do Zack's?" because he wasn't there. And I instantly was just annoyed. Not because I mind helping, but because this is the issue. There's too much freight and not enough people. And even after I managed to get all my freight ran, while helping customers and fellow DM's alike, I moved on over to help out Wendy with all of her freight. I don't know what's been going on with Housewares getting so much ungodly freight, but something needs to be done about it, seriously. I was over there the entire rest of my shift. Literally until it was time for me to take my cart back and everything. And there was still live freight when we left. Yeah. Something seriously needs to be done about it because I'm at the point where I'm Squidward about it. I see it, but do I really have interest in helping?
Literally, that's me. Anyway. I was going to work on my boosts for taylorswift.com with the rest of my evening, but I really didn't feel like staying up until 10pm, just doing boosts. So I decided that I'll regroup Tamar Braxt when I can get them in earlier. So I just decided to lounge around and watch Queer As Folk. And as of 10pm as I'm updating this, my video for ...Ready For It? has hit 11,000 VIEWS!! WHAT THE FUCK. It's so exciting. I can't wait to be reacting to Superfruit's album and Shania Twain's album when they come out later this month. AND Demi's new album, Tell Me You Love Me, comes out the same day as Shania's!? How am I going to deal with both albums dropping the same day!? September 29th about to be real busy for ya girl.
Also, it randomly hit me while working that I really want to dye my hair. I'm feeling hella empowered by all this new music Taylor Swift is putting out, and I just need new hair the reflects me being the baddest bitch in the game. So that's going to happen. Peep that photo, but I'll get to that here in a little bit.
Yesterday wasn't too bad at all, in terms of work. I even got to stay in routine, in a manner of speaking. I woke up, and it was really hard getting up for the day. I don't know why, but both yesterday and Monday, I've had such a hard time willing myself to get up. I don't know if it's me being over what's been regularly happening at work or not, but I'm not about it. Anyway, I checked my video before I left for work, and my video was already surpassed 12K! It's still so crazy to me that that's continuing to be a thing. More comments have been coming in, and I've been replying to them all, per usge. It's just so great that people are loving my reaction. And this one viewer, commented on my LWYMMD reaction, and followed me on Twitter. Then tweeted a selection of my reaction and that got over 100 retweets. LITERALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING. It's so crazy, but I love it and I'm grateful.
Like I said, work wasn't too bad. It was pretty much routine, with a couple wrenches thrown in the plan. But for the most part, I got to go about my day without too much delay. And once my check went in, the one with our bonus on it, thank God, I decided that I was going to get my hair color and also but some Beats on layaway. And I even got a great deal on them anyway, because they were cheaper online. And with my discount factored in, it was like 200 bucks for these 350 dollar headphones. So ya girl was excited for that.
I headed home, finally, after it taking a while to deal with my layaway thing and purchasing my hair color. Had some dinner, and I decided to wait a little bit to dye my hair. Why? Because I really needed to get my boosts in on taylorswift.com. I know, I'm Taylor Swift trash, but that's already been established. Anyway, I did that while scrolling on Tumblr, and then I went ahead and preordered the album from taylorswift.com. And then I was gonna go ahead and preorder that Rep hat, but it's sold out. Not only that, but almost EVERYTHING on the store is sold out. Like WHAT?! People must be really wanting their boosts and therefore their tickets. But I got the album cover t-shirt in my size before it sold out too.
Then I made the process of trying to cut my hair, but that didn't happen because the clippers that my grandparents have are better than mine, but they only have two attachments, and ya home girl really doesn't know how to use them. So I decided to get it cut later, since our hair place was closed today at work for reasons of unknown origin. Anyway, coloring my hair was a process. Especially in the bathroom here because it's always so damn hot in there. But I got it done. It's so black. I was going to post a picture of what it looked like once I dyed it, but I decided to wait until I get it cut too and it looks exactly like how I want it. Then I waited around until American Horror Story came on. Cult is gonna be fucked. It really messed me up. Then it was time for Queer As Folk and bed.
I didn't get to do any writing today, something I'm pretty bummed about. But this week hasn't been too bad and I'm just trying to cut myself a break. August was pretty rough for me, so I'm cutting myself the slack I feel like I owe myself. But I did get some things done today. After dyeing my hair last night, I knew that once I got up, I needed to head somewhere and get my hair cut because it's in such dire need. So I settled on just going to the Valley View Walmart to get it cut because there was no chance I was going to my store to get it done, plus, with them being randomly closed yesterday, there was no guarantee that they'd be open anyways. After doing some shopping and actually finding my first ever Simpsons t-shirt (I would have gotten the other one too, but they didn't have one in size fat), I headed over to the hair cutting place. She actually did a bomb job, and with my new Vantablack look, it looks fucking incredible. All I can think about is Veronica Lodge, the Riverdale iteration, because she's my queen. So here's a picture of the new Veronica Lodge.
I really like the way I look with black hair for some reason. I mean, I've dyed my hair black before, but this feels right? It's really hard to explain, but yeah. I'm obsessed with it. I feel like I'm so fucking ready for Rep Tour with black hair now haha. Anyways, after I left Valley View, I headed home. And got to work on cleaning my room and car, and getting my much needed laundry done. Luckily, I got the trash out of my room and car fairly quickly, and pushed forward to get my laundry done. Then, I literally just relaxed the rest of the day today. I really was thinking about taking a mental health day for tomorrow, but I guess I won't. I really want to, and feel like I could benefit from it. But I need the money, even with the great bonus we got on this check that I got on Tuesday. I don't think I mentioned but I also ordered a new phone case? Like I love the one I got, but it still gets dust and dirt underneath this supposed protective barrier. Anyway, the new case shipped out today, so that's great. Another thing that hasn't been working? My TV. It was working fine when I flipped it to that football game that Taylor made me watch, but ever since then, the remote won't change the channel. I've tried everything, but I've missed Big Brother because of it. I've caught up thanks to the internet, but still, it's pretty annoying.
Also, my reaction video of ...Ready For It? is at 13.9K views as we speak. LITERALLY CRAZY.
I really, really hope that since I talked to Shanan and I'm getting this weekend off like I'm really supposed to, despite what the schedule says, that I can get some writing done this weekend. I feel like it's been so long since I've written, and I always get a little stir crazy when I haven't gotten any material covered in a while. I'm just going to sink into bed and lose myself in some Queer As Folk and try to drown the heart heavy thoughts when thinking about getting up early for work tomorrow. I just want things to change. And hopefully, when Sean gets back from vacation, they can. Until then, Veronica Lodge incarnate can extinguish the fire.
To be young and in love in New York City, To not know who I am, but still know that I'm good, As long as you're here with me. To be drunk and in love in New York City, Midnight into morning coffee, Burning through the hours talking. Damn. I like me better when I'm with you, I like me better when I'm with you. I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause. I like me better when, I like me better when I'm with you. _______________________________________________________
Okay, so, currently? I'm fucked up. But I'll get to that because literally something could happen at any given minute and, because I'm Taylor Swift t r a s h, I'm liable to combust at the first sight of movement.
The past couple days haven't been too bad, albeit they still didn't go according to plan. I STILL haven't gotten the chance to talk to Sean about what I've been dealing with lately, and it's no one's fault. It's just bad timing, crazy timing. And I understand that. It's just frustrating when I'm going through this stuff, and I know that something could possibly be done about it, and nothing's going forward simply because we can't even have the initial conversation. It's rough, but I'll be alright. Sean's on vacation for the next week, so that'll delay it even more. It sucks, but like I said, I'll be alright.
Working the weird hours that I did on Thursday was just that: weird. It felt weird to get to sleep in, even if it was just until ten o'clock. With how hard it's been for me to sleep and feel rested lately, I'll take whatever sleep I can these days. I wanted to get some writing done while I waited to go in at 4pm, but I didn't. I was just too anxious, I guess, from going in at work. I've never worked a midnight Toys event, or a midnight Walmart event in general, so I wasn't sure exactly what to expect. But all I did before work was watch Queer As Folk and stay in bed. All in all, a good way to spend ones' time. The event wasn't bad. I got everything straightened up and ready for the Star Wars train by moving features and all that jazz.
SOMETHING HAPPENED. TAYLOR SWIFT JUST LIKED A POST FROM ME ON TUMBLR. Literally what is my life? I'm on here complaining and shit and TAYLOR, SWEET SWEET TAYLOR LIKES A POST FROM ME??? It wasn't my post but the fact that she liked it from ME means I'm for sure on her Tumblr dashboard. I know she follows me and has liked an actual post of when the Out Of The Woods video dropped but I'M SO FUCKED UP?????????
Okay, I'm going to try and salvage this trash blog post by continuing. Aside from one customer, the Force Friday event was fine. She told me I could have opened the Star Wars train early, even though I opened it right at midnight, but ya know. Okay, so then Friday, nothing much happened. I was helping Morgan a lot throughout the day with display TV's and things of that nature. I also didn't come in until 9am because I was there until almost 2am. It was weird. I didn't sleep much, but I got to leave at 4:30 on Friday, so all was well.
I really didn't want to go to work today, because ya know. But I did. And even though there was a bunch of freight, mostly belonging to other departments, it was a pretty good day. I had Amber there with me so it was even better. We worked Wendy's freight almost all day long. As in until about 3 o'clock. Yeah. It was a lot. It's just crazy how much things have changed at work lately. I mean, just look at Kelly? Gone. It's just absolutely insane.
So then today. I came home and started watching Queer As Folk and upping my boosts on taylorswift.com because I just wanted to relax. And then, as I'm still doing both of the aforementioned activities, Taylor puts on her Instagram story something about watching the football game tonight at 8 on ABC with the hashtag #ReadyForIt? LIKE NO TAYLOR, I'M STILL NOT OVER LWYMMD GIRL. So at approximately 8:13, a promo for the game comes on featuring what is a snippet of A NEW SONG FROM TAYLOR. There's no official name of it yet, but we're hoping it drops at midnight, in which case, I'll film my reaction to it in full. The snippet is a minute long and it's SO GOOD. "Are you ready for it?" is the presumed title and it's more DARK POP bitch I'M DONE! Also she dropped new merch with "...ready for it?" on taylorswift.com, and you know that this ts trash can already bought it. I'm a fucking mess. I'm going to try to stay glued together from Taylor liking that post from me and make it until midnight. I'm so not ready.
Also shout out to Lauv for making his way on the NP. I've still been listening to Look What You Made Me Do like non-stop, but I've had this song on my phone for a while now and revisited it the other night while in bed and I was just grooving so hard because it's so good. I've been alternating between I Like Me Better and Look What You Made Me Do the past couple days on the way to work. And shout out to Pike for the nod to the title. They have a video titled that, and I've been saying it a lot lately. I said it while I walked past some basketball shorts today at work because I love basketball shorts. I also posted the title about Taylor Swift getting me to watch a football game haha. Only Taylor could turn me into a sporty spice.
