I just took a DNA test,
Turns out I'm 100% that bitch,
Even when I'm crying crazy.
Yeah I got boy problems,
That's the human in me.
Bling bling, then I solve them,
That's the goddess in me.
You could've had a bad bitch,
Non-committal.
Helped you with your career,
Just a little.
You're supposed to hold me down,
But you're holding me back.
And that's the sound,
Of me not calling you back.
Why men great 'till they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face.
Best friend sat me down in a salon chair,
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair.
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting,
New man on the Minnesota Vikings.
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting.
___________________________________________________
Surprisingly, in a new turn of light, the past couple days haven't been too hellish. Literally such a blessing. But that's mainly because I've pushed my saving graces to their limits to help me out lately. Shout out to my vices.
Heading back into work after the horrific day that I had on Wednesday was rough. Pretty rough, actually, but I expected as much. I didn't get a lot of sleep, I kept waking up and tossed and turned throughout the majority of the night. I ended up getting up a little early and treating myself to some breakfast at McDonald's because I just knew that it was going to be a rough sight getting back into the place that just sixteen hours ago had literally driven me to the brink of crying. But it ended up not being too bad. It was work, like usual. My ear didn't bother me, which is a godsend. It usually bothers me about three out of five work days nowadays, so I'm thankful for whenever it doesn't uphold to that awful standard. I don't really remember a whole lot about work, so it must not have been too terribly bad. I do remember that I was just feeling down and depressed about everything, so I treated myself. I went ahead and paid out the remaining balance on my layaway and got the Beats that I had put on hold. And they literally have revolutionized my life. It's like I've never listened to music before. It's absolutely insane. Plus, they're going to help loads with my writing now that I have a pair of super high quality headphones, so honestly, it's just a good investment. So that was awesome.
And then when I came home, my rep merch was waiting on me! It was such a wonderful way to come home after this really rough and tumultuous week, that it literally made my soul smile to see my latest Taylor Swift dedicated purchases. I think I immediately put on my white rep shirt, with the album cover blazed on the front, and ended up sleeping in it. Because I just needed the comfort of Taylor. But here's a couple pictures of my soul saving babies.
Today I'm wearing the black rep one, and Benzo kept telling me how good it looked on me, even though I disagree, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Friday, meaning yesterday, actually ended up being a pretty decent work day, which was shocking. The night before, I was so exhausted from the week, that I ended up laying down for bed at, I think, around 7:30. And after a brief phone call with Benzo, I was asleep before 9pm. I kept waking up, because I was worried I would oversleep, but I ended up getting some much needed rest and when I woke up during my alarm the following morning for work, I actually felt refreshed for the first time in I couldn't tell you how long. So that was a wonderful way to take myself into work on Friday morning. And like I said, it ended up being a pretty decent day. I ended up spending the entire day moving features around to make room for the ones that had come in off of the truck, but it kept me busy literally all day. And I finally finished all those damned label changes, so that was even better.
And for the first time I, God, I literally have no idea, I wrote in my novel during lunch! I haven't done that in probably before I moved over to Toys. It's been so long since I've done it, I couldn't even begin to guess as to when the last time was, but I was super grateful for it. Shout out to my wonderful new Beats for surrounding me with the beautiful Chester Lockhart music that my writing was flowing perfectly in tune with. It was such a wonderful feeling to feel that flow again at Hardees during lunch. I left thinking about how writing is my true calling, showcasing my talent and introducing these characters that live in my soul is what I'm meant to do, and being able to have the time to do it is a true blessing on this Earth.
After work, I ended up playing a little Splatoon 2, but just decided to hang out most of the night. I had to drop my grandma off at a funeral, her second of the week (which is super sad), so that was A-Okay. But then I came back home and chilled. She brought back a friend with her, that gave her a ride home, and her and Billie Ruth had a good ol time, getting drunk together out in the backyard haha. It was nice to see my grandma let loose for once, so I was happy for her. Plus, Billie Ruth, the friend, said hi to me and said "Oh, you're the grandson, the writer!" and I just really love that that's what's attached to me, because that's what I truly am at heart. And hearing someone recognize that and point that out in me was just really heartwarming.
Today was a little harder, because I didn't get to do everything that I wanted to do done. I ended up sleeping in, which was wonderful, and felt well rested for the second night in a row, so God bless for that tiny little miracle. But I didn't finish all of my laundry. There's always Tamar Braxt, but I really wanted to finish it today. But I went and got lunch for me and my grandpa up at BK (I'm literally addicted to the BBQ Bacon King) so that was fun. Also, those pajama pants that I bought at Target when I was last out with Benzo? I made them into shorts and I'm obsessed. They have little sailboats on them and they're super comfortable and dark blue and I just love them. But the ends are fraying from where I cut them, so I was gonna redneck that shit and staple them, but when I asked my grandma about it, she actually taught me something very useful called stitch witchery? Yeah, I literally had no idea what it was, but it bonds the fabric together so you can hem them perfectly, and get rid of the fraying ends. You need an iron, but hell, it's super useful. I'm so thankful for moments like that, where my grandma and I can bond over something that I'll definitely use in the future, and it was fun having that moment together. Thanks Mawmaw! Then I got a FaceTime call from Benzo, and her work is really trying it, y'all. Like I'm so confused as to how they are treating her, and brandishing such a weirdly heavy hand, that I don't even know what to say about it. But obviously, she was upset. And after following texts, I decided to go down to her. Because that's what you do for your soulmate.
We ended up, overall, having a pretty good time. Jamming out to Lizzo's newest track (Peep that NP for the promo) and we've been loving it ever since she introduced it to me last night haha. But we headed to Cheddar's and their damn sidewalk caught my home girl. I was really worried when she fell, and I was super worried when she kept talking about being in pain / sore. But she pushed through, because she's an actual angel gracing mortals with her presence on Earth. It didn't help that the hostess at the restaurant was tracking us all over the damn place, not seating us, which was just weird and I've never had that happen before. But we had a great waiter and a great meal, complete with drinks to take our mutual edges off with, so that was a delight.
And now, since I've been back home, I've just been getting ready to write this blog. And now that it's fully written, I'm ready to lay down with The Simpsons. I don't think I mentioned it in my last blog, but I subbed out watching Queer As Folk again with starting The Simpsons from the beginning. I've actually not been giving The Simpsons credit for their first two seasons. They're actually really really good, despite the lack of animation. But hey, that's the 80's for ya. I'm still on Season Two at the moment, and just watched the first ever Treehouse of Horror episode. God, I love those things. Anyway, it's off to bed for me. Definitely hoping for another #ScribingSunday tomorrow, but after the week that's transpired, I'm not going to force feed the creativity and motivation. Chillax is my mood for the upcoming week.
Keeping myself stitched together by witchcraft,
-- Jesse
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