Thursday, May 17, 2018

Oh Boy!

| Now Playing: Better With You by Jesse McCartney |

I know it's ugly turning on the news,
There's people fighting over point of view,
Sometimes it's like there's nothing left to lose.
And I don't know what to do,
But I know it's better with you.

I was a wreck when you came along,
When there was nothing left,
You showed me the best.
I'm still a mess but you hold on,
Don't know just why you do,
But I know I'm better with you.

But I know I'm better with you,
I know I'm better with you,
But I know I'm better with you.

For every laugh there is a silent cry,
For every day there is a darker night,
Sometimes it's like life doesn't treat us right.
And I don't know what to do,
But I know it's better with you.

I know I'm better with you.

This blogging thing, let me tell ya. I've been slacking and slacking and slacking. Just life has been so crazy and hectic that I just haven't had time to even rest. I always feel like I'm go go go all the time. So what's all happened since the last time I posted in this thing?

Well, my boyfriend and I have gotten even closer. To me that seems impossible, but it's true. I just love him so much and this feels like the first time I've truly been in love, ya know? It's just been wonderful. We went to the Panic at the Lux event, went to an empty Park, watched Death Becomes Her, and just really enjoyed each other.

Work, has been a lot. I think that has a lot to do with why I feel so out of whack lately. I go from these intense extremes when I'm work, that it's literally pulling out all my energy. I have done some writing here and there, but because work is getting so relentlessly predictable and everything is staying the same for the worst, I tend to alleviate by spending time with my boyfriend and literally staying gone all weekend that writing has taken a way side. But I've got a lot of writing up in my head, so that's helping.

Honestly that's about it. My videos are doing well, reputation Tour is a wonderful thing, and I've just been sort of trying to escape everything from work. I got drunk last night and had a wonderful time filming a video of reacting to All Too Well, and cleaning my room. Oh, and I got an AC unit for my room.

I can't be bothered to be honest. More as things progress and hopefully calm down at work!

Exclaiming the new bitch phrase,

-- Justin

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Dick-Bringing Friend (How Dare You!)

| Now Playing: B by Todrick Hall |

Who was doing all the cooking, doing all the cleaning?
Who was making sure the cookies' always good for eating?
Who was there putting it down every evening
Even when you was leaving for no reason each time your phone was ringing?
And who was there making your friends wish that they could be you?
The game is done, You's a bum, I ain't finna feed you.
Take your shit out of the Benz you ain't got the key to.
I don't need you, kiss my ass while I pack and leave you.

Oh honey you fucked up real big this time,
Never get another bitch looking this fine.
Don't let the doorknob hit you,
Take your sidechick with you.
Tick tock,
Kick rocks, rocks.

Bitch I was your B, bitch I was your Yonce.
Bitch I was your B, bitch I was your Yonce.
Bitch I was your B, bitch I was your Yonce.
Bitch I was, bitch I was, bitch I, bitch I was your Yonce.
Bitch I was a ten, bitch you was a five, nah four.
Bitch I was a win, pussy most men would die for.
Bitch I had you in positions she couldn't apply for.
Why you have to lie for? I'm bored.
Bitch I'm Louboutin, I ain't fucking with Payless no more.
I'm a G6, I ain't flying with Southwest no more.
Bitch your ass is broke, I ain't looking to invest no more.
Bitch I was your Marilyn, you can't blow up my dress no more.
Could've been your Madonna,
Now who gone tell your mama?
You lost a bomb ass bitch,
Killing like Rihanna.
Hair like Arianna, Thick like a grown Moana.
Hope you're happy with Melania 'cause you lost Michelle Obama.
Eat it.

It's so damn hot in my room as I'm typing this, that I'm really struggling to piece together a coherent thought, but here comes the blog anyway haha. So after the last blog, I pretty much headed down to my boyfriend's because he asked me if I wanted to go ahead and come over, so I did. I'm trying to even remember everything through the current state of my overheated psyche, but I know we got a little too drunk, and even more so when West got home. I think we ended up watching some Golden Girls I think? And we were talking about our costumes for the party on Saturday. Oh, and I talked about how he would have a musical called Naps because of his tendency to...well, nap haha. How Dare You! is a song we kept singing / talking about throughout the weekend, so that happened. And when he was talking about seeing Once On This Island in New York, he talked about being a DBF for his friend Eva and I was like what the hell is that a dick-bringing friend? We got a barrel of laughs out of that. It stands for designated boyfriend for those wondering, because a bitch had no clue haha.

We watched some Golden Girls before bed, the "Do you have something to show me?" dream sort of came true, and we called it a night. He talked about how happy I make him, and honestly, it just feels so good to be with him. Not to make this a like praise me sort of blog, but I'm just so happy when we're together. He makes me want to be a better a person, a happier person, a inspiring person. He's just the best and I love him a lot.

Saturday morning we got to sleep in, and we got some Subway (I'm totally obsessed with the new wraps they have now, do yourself a favor and get the southwestern steak and cheese on tomato basil NOW) came back, watched some Golden Girls like we do. I fell asleep during it, so we went back to the bedroom and took a solid two-hour nap haha. He's rubbing off on me. Then we started getting ready for the Disney Night, and I realized I forgot my purple shirt, so we went to Walmart to get me one and then hustled back. We didn't get quite as turnt as we did Friday, but we had a good time. Lisette was Pocahontas and Kelly was Mulan, it was fun haha. We played Paranoia, which was super fun to get to bring from YouTube haha, then Kings: Truth or Dare edition, followed by BS. Just a good time haha. Then Sunday we hung out, watched some Superstore, went and saw Infinity War, which was pretty incredible, got some food from Macado's where our service was literally ridiculous, and then Allen packed and I left when he was leaving for Richmond to prepare for his interview Monday.

And then Sunday night my stomach was hurting until about 3AM so I called in. I had just enough energy to go to Kia, feel like I was going to get a car, test drove one of the Forte's I love so much, and then the bank said I owed too much and shut it down, I was bummed, but Allen was so super sweet about it and cheered me up, honestly make me cry in the best way, God, I love that man. And his interview went really well! I think so at least, even if I have to feel that way for him haha. From what he told me, it seems great. Finger crossed that this works out for him!

Even though I called out, I was asked to go to Bonsack to help them out Tuesday. I only agreed because it was with Destiny and I won't even get into how rude the people there are. Let's just say they need to watch who they serve their attitudes to because this bitch is the wrong one. We went there again today, but Destiny was off so Pam took her place. Today wasn't as bad, because we finished the freight and ended up going back to Salem because I told Thy they just wanted us to zone. I love when I get my way because my way makes more sense.

Which leads us to now with this heat. I'm over it. I can not do this. Jesus be a raindrop or a central air. I can not do this. I am not tropical or a damn Toucan. Shit, shit.

A fan of my version of DBFs and making up musicals,

-- Justin

Friday, April 27, 2018

Blanche & Dorothy Take A Trip!

| Now Playing: In Loving Memory by Chester Lockhart |

Here lies a boy,
Dearly departed,
Killed for no reason at all.
Trusted in you,
Left broken-hearted,
Thought you'd be there to catch my fall.
I've been paying,
For your sins.

You stole,
You lied,
You buried the best parts of me.
My heart,
Has died,
It rests in loving memory.

Beautiful boy,
Bathed in disaster,
Ruining lives just for fun.
Trial by fire,
Guilty of murder,
Baby there's nowhere left to run.
Now you're paying,
For your sins.

You stole,
You lied,
You buried the best parts of me.
My heart,
Has died,
It rests in loving memory.

So it's been a time, let me tell ya. It's been a very very very very long week. I knew it was going to be long, but I had no idea that I was going to have so many moments of just breaking down and crying. Of course, that's only really related to work and home life, and not the wondrous time I get to spend with my boyfriend, it's just been a lot.

I got off work early on Friday, and my boyfriend told me all that we would be doing last weekend, which was nice to have an itinerary to go off of haha. But it was also good that I got off early because I had overtime because I had to rush home, pack and get ready, because he was leaving straight from work to come and pick me up so we could get to Richmond. He gets here, and he had an unknown number call him that ended up being a job interview, and they ended up calling twenty minutes later to set up the interview! So that's super exciting for him.

And then, something happened while I was getting gas on the way home Friday. I can't talk about it, because it's a super secret project, and I know that's super annoying to even say, but I'm so damn excited about it, I could burst. After getting this notification, I got a call right after my boyfriend did while we were driving to Richmond, and confirmed the secret project and I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM. Literally, I never would think that something like that / this would happen, so the fact that it is, I can't even comprehend. ALSO, Chester Lockhart's new song came out, it's fucking incredible, and Chester replied to my tweet about it so there's that haha.

So we headed to Cooper's Hawk, this restaurant / wine tasting place in Richmond, met his mom there (where she kissed me on the mouth, so that was interesting and humbling I guess) and we did the tasting. It was way more dry than I particularly like, but it was fun. Then we ate dinner, which was hella bougie, but was delicious. Then we headed back to the house and drank, listened to music, and just talked, it was a lot of fun haha. Oh, and we had this blueberry dessert wine that was so fucking good ugh. I need it in my life, Lord. There was also this dream I had about my boyfriend where I asked him "Do you have something for me?" in the middle of an office, let's just say we gave them a show haha. But I kept saying that to him and it was a barrel of laughs.

The next day I got to sleep in while they went to run some errands pertaining to student loans, which honestly sounds awful, but it went well for them, so that's all we can ask for. Then we went to this amazing sushi place. I've only ever had like pseudo-sushi from like Sakura, not actually from a sushi place, so this was sort of a first for me. It was like made fresh as soon as you order it, all you can eat, so the three of us were in heaven. But we ate too much, and Allen and I ended up taking a nap together upstairs after because it was just so much haha. Then he took me on a tour of Richmond, I got to see Carytown and all it has to offer, so that was nice. Then we went to the Arcade Bar, which was really fun, but they need a bigger venue for what they want to do. I got to play the Simpsons arcade game for the first time! So that was a huge staple for me checked off haha. While waiting for our Havana 59 reservation, we answered relationship questions from an article on his phone haha, and I'm glad we're on the same page when it comes to a lot of things. We headed to Havana, and I was a little nervous that I wouldn't like anything because of the small menu, but it ended up being really really good, so that nervousness was shed fairly quickly. Pam and Micah, Deb's neighbors, were there and no. We also met this crazy pair of couples and they were way too fucking much. Then I got to meet Rebekah, one of his friends from home, and that went great, love her. Then we headed home, we were so tuckered out. I had another sexual dream, weird, and also this reoccurring dream I've had before where I'm part of a group of friends that go to this cabin and there's always a killer. This was the third time I had it, I've survived twice before, and I survived this time. There was this guy named Brandon we thought was the killer but Amanda that works at the Deli at work was then thought to be the killer, but she said she was only the accomplice to the real killer, who was Caito Potatoe from YouTube. I have weird dreams, I know.

So then we were preparing for the brunch where I was to meet more of his friends, aka really just Kelly and Chelsea. Bekah came over first, and we had mimosas and had amazing food that his mom made, it's just so good. Then we went to his haircut appointment, his girl Joanie is a bop, and then he got it colored, because she luckily had time. Beech made a guest appearance, and I went to Publix at got some of the pineapple cider we had at the Arcade Bar that I loved, while his hair was cooking haha. Then we headed straight back, singing songs all the time, and we even did a duet of A Whole New World and Allen was so cute at the end, ugh, I can't even take it. After a wonderful time, he dropped me off at home, which was great. We planned on this Williamsburg spa trip, but it's crazy expensive, but we will see.

Ever since then, it's all been about work, and let me tell ya, it's been a struggle. I worked 12 and a half hours Monday to make up for the fact that I was able to get my four hour shift on Sunday off. Then Tuesday, the day before inventory, I worked until after 8pm, another 12 hour day. Then Wednesday, the day off Inventory, which included the rudest people who have ever done our inventory, I worked another 12 hour day. So yesterday when I finally got to leave at 2:30, and was told I had so much overtime to take my four hour shift today off, you can see how excited I would be by that haha. So today's been a chill day, shopping for the rest of my Disney outfit for tomorrow at my boyfriend's place, so that should be fun. We're going as Aladdin and Jasmine because we're cute haha. And that's really about it haha.

Except for the delicious joke I made, as Dorothy from Golden Girls, when Allen, who was portraying Blanche, said something about dating a 17 year old tennis player, I side, "Oh good, so when you first drop your balls, you'll have something in common." I love us haha.

Recovering from both a getaway and work trip of differing outlooks,

-- Justin

Tuesday, April 17, 2018


| Now Playing: I Love You Like That by Dagny |

You hate that I usually don't open up,
I know when I say it, doesn't say enough,
With you close I'm the happiest I ever was.
I tend to avoid getting emotional,
I'm not shutting you out, it's just the way I'm born,
But I see myself next to you until we're old.

You know how they say you got the real thing,
When nothing else matters,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you, I love you,
I love you like that.
All I wanna say is I got the real thing,
And nothing else matters,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you, I love you,
I love you like that.

Here's a semi-regular update, I guess? I've just been so busy and bumping lately that I really haven't even had time to sit down and relax. But it's been enjoyable for the most part, and by most part, I mean while not working haha. So let me just revel in this weekend because it was amazing.

Friday after work, and after the rough aversion of this work week, I needed some relaxation. This came in the form of the bottle of Riesling I bought and was fully prepared to take part in when my boyfriend messaged me and asked if I wanted to come with him and two girls he works with out in Blacksburg. And since I wanted to drink anyway, it just totally worked out haha. So I got ready and all that jazz and soon enough I was up there. Allen said we had to go pick up Kelly, and that Lisette would meet us there because she was on a first date...and that she was bringing him along. I don’t know, I just think that’s a weird end to a first date but hey, that’s just me.

So they wanted to go to Sharkey’s but that was hella busy and Allen was trying to convince them to go to the Park, which would have been really fun, but that didn’t happen. By chance we ended up going to Tots, which I just really don’t like based on my last experience there when I was still working at the liquor store, but Allen and I were pretty much silently out voted at this point so we decided we would give it a try. And it was fine I guess, just really loud and annoying and everything else that I remember from my first time being there. But after about maybe twenty minutes or so they were talking about just going back to Lisette’s place and hanging out so we did that.

We played like some watered down version of Headbands I think is what it’s called? So that was fun but Kelly was knocked out shortly after that, and the rest of us stayed up and did this like truth or dare thing which ended with Allen stripping down to his underwear and running down the stairs and out of Lisette’s apartment building haha. It was a fun time. But we felt sort of bad for Logan, Lisette’s date because it seemed like maybe they weren’t hitting it off so that sort of sucked. But overall and as a group we had a good time.

I had to work Saturday, but I stayed over with Allen, and let me tell ya, I was in a state. I hadn’t eaten since lunch that Friday, and I drank a lot, so waking up Saturday morning was a chore. Honestly I was afraid the entire time I was driving down to get to work that I was going to throw up so I kept slamming my driver window down in case I had to hurl out the window. Yeah. It was that bad. Now I have previously stated that I don’t get hangovers. I should probably amend this with “I don’t get hangovers IF I eat something while I’m drinking”. Work was work but it was after work that was the true champion of this particular day.

So he had been texting me these ridiculous things throughout the morning, like he was arguing with his friend about liking mayonnaise and roundabout asking me what my favorite sandwich was, and I was like what in the world is going in here in this day haha. So after I answered, and when I get off he was like let me know when you're close to getting here, which he normally never does so I'm like something is up and I have no idea what haha. So I get to his apartment and he's like we're going somewhere special for dinner, as I'm wearing shorts and a Scooby-Doo t-shirt after getting out of the shower and I'm like am I even dressed appropriately for this? He said I was fine but I was colored intrigued.

We started heading out of the area he lives in, which includes this park that you have to pass, and right before we pass it, he whips the car into a parking spot at the park and he's like we're here and I'm like...what? And he smiles and says we're gonna have a picnic and y'all, my heart melted. Like fucking butter sitting next to the furnace. No one has ever done anything like for me. So we get out of the car and he's already packed the car with everything we need. I see a cooler and it hits me. "This is what all those texts about mayonnaise we're about, aren't they?" He said yes, and I melted a little more haha. We had sandwiches and pasta salad and grapes and even sparkling cider (because thankfully he thought I wasn't up for drinking after the night before haha) and it was just really romantic. So after we eat, we're laying there and everything and he's like "You know, it's funny how every time we get together, we drink, and we keep saying how we almost say it." He was talking about the L word, and he's right, we do always say that haha. I almost said it the night before when we were at Tots. "But I'm not drunk now, and I love you." I smiled brightly and said that I love him too, which is all the more serendipitous because I was thinking about it a couple days before about how I loved him and it's just all wrapped up so perfectly. Did I mention that this day also marked three months of us officially dating? Yeah, like I said, it was wrapped up perfectly and just so amazing. I told them at Lisette's that I didn't feel like I'd ever really been in love, so to have Saturday shatter all those feelings away, I couldn't be happier.

We headed back home after a while, we lounged out in the perfect weather at the park for a good while. We watched Moana, which was incredible, and then I think we started watching some Buffy but I was so tired, I couldn't hang haha. After only getting three hours of sleep and still being drunk, I needed to go to bed. The next morning, we had planned on going to Pride, but the weather was against us and neither of us wanted to make the drive all the way down there just to have shitty weather dampen our time. So he suggested we go see Tomb Raider, another reason to fall in love with him haha, so we were gonna do that. But before we did, we were gonna grab some food. We settled on Sake House, but we had some time to kill before we had to leave because the movie wasn’t until 4. So somehow we started watching Golden Girls, which I’ve never even seen a full episode of. I know, I’m a bad gay. But I was laughing my ass off, I loved it. I ended up buying the first season through Apple TV so I can get into it because it had such replayability and it’s so fucking funny haha.

We went to Sake House, it was good but who doesn’t serve lunch on Sunday’s? Dumb. So it was a little price-ier than we were hoping and wanting but it ended up fine. So then we waited in his car for a little bit, he showed me some Wicked songs that I hadn’t heard. And then there was a moment where I said I love you again because we hadn’t said it since the park and I didn’t want it to be weird that we had finally said it and then we hadn’t said it since so I kissed him and told him and of course he said it back and it was a cute moment with the rain drizzling down. Ugh, I can’t.

Then we headed into Cinebowl to watch the movie. This guy at the concessions basically accused Allen’s ID of being fake, which obviously it isn’t, so that was annoying as hell. But the movie was great! I was so happy with how they transformed the reboot game into the movie, and better in my opinion, I’m so hoping for a sequel. I need it as bad as a Power Rangers sequel though, and that’s not looking so hot, so we’ll see haha. Then we were gonna go back to his place and watch some musicals, hence why we were listening to musicals in the car earlier, but we was like what if we bowled? He invited West and our plans were made. He used to be on a bowling team, so obviously we knew who was gonna win.

We got our bowling attire and headed to the lane. But of course, we ordered drinks and food because we're in our twenties haha. Allen won the first game, I won the second game (!), and Allen won the last game haha. But it was a fun time. Then we headed upstairs to the arcade and had a hoot and a holler up there, then, even though I think both of us wanted to head home earlier, we went home. Watched an episode of the Golden Girls, then we went to bed. And while we were in bed, Allen and I exchanged out I love yous again before heading to bed. We're the cutest, I know haha.

Getting up Monday morning for work was so much easier than Saturday haha. Thank God. Work wasn't too bad, just work. There wasn't a truck so I was able to get in my bins, which was nice. The rest of the day was meh, but I got a haircut after work and I cut a lot off actually. My long curls on top, like the style I've had for a while, is gone, and I look pretty good to be honest. If my phone will cooperate, I'll put a picture here.

"And he ain't gotta be paid,
But he gotta be trade." 😂
I sent it to Allen and he sent the cutest response haha. After that, I basically relaxed and got caught up on YouTube videos, watched some Golden Girls, FaceTimed with Benzo, and here we are haha. I'm super looking forward to heading to Richmond with Allen this weekend, and he's actually gonna get to show me around! So I'm excited for that. Shout out to Charli XCX for the inspo on this blog's title, it just seemed fitting. Plus it's been randomly popping up in my head lately, and now we can see why haha.

Loving it,

-- Justin