Tuesday, April 17, 2018


| Now Playing: I Love You Like That by Dagny |

You hate that I usually don't open up,
I know when I say it, doesn't say enough,
With you close I'm the happiest I ever was.
I tend to avoid getting emotional,
I'm not shutting you out, it's just the way I'm born,
But I see myself next to you until we're old.

You know how they say you got the real thing,
When nothing else matters,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you, I love you,
I love you like that.
All I wanna say is I got the real thing,
And nothing else matters,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you, I love you,
I love you like that.

Here's a semi-regular update, I guess? I've just been so busy and bumping lately that I really haven't even had time to sit down and relax. But it's been enjoyable for the most part, and by most part, I mean while not working haha. So let me just revel in this weekend because it was amazing.

Friday after work, and after the rough aversion of this work week, I needed some relaxation. This came in the form of the bottle of Riesling I bought and was fully prepared to take part in when my boyfriend messaged me and asked if I wanted to come with him and two girls he works with out in Blacksburg. And since I wanted to drink anyway, it just totally worked out haha. So I got ready and all that jazz and soon enough I was up there. Allen said we had to go pick up Kelly, and that Lisette would meet us there because she was on a first date...and that she was bringing him along. I don’t know, I just think that’s a weird end to a first date but hey, that’s just me.

So they wanted to go to Sharkey’s but that was hella busy and Allen was trying to convince them to go to the Park, which would have been really fun, but that didn’t happen. By chance we ended up going to Tots, which I just really don’t like based on my last experience there when I was still working at the liquor store, but Allen and I were pretty much silently out voted at this point so we decided we would give it a try. And it was fine I guess, just really loud and annoying and everything else that I remember from my first time being there. But after about maybe twenty minutes or so they were talking about just going back to Lisette’s place and hanging out so we did that.

We played like some watered down version of Headbands I think is what it’s called? So that was fun but Kelly was knocked out shortly after that, and the rest of us stayed up and did this like truth or dare thing which ended with Allen stripping down to his underwear and running down the stairs and out of Lisette’s apartment building haha. It was a fun time. But we felt sort of bad for Logan, Lisette’s date because it seemed like maybe they weren’t hitting it off so that sort of sucked. But overall and as a group we had a good time.

I had to work Saturday, but I stayed over with Allen, and let me tell ya, I was in a state. I hadn’t eaten since lunch that Friday, and I drank a lot, so waking up Saturday morning was a chore. Honestly I was afraid the entire time I was driving down to get to work that I was going to throw up so I kept slamming my driver window down in case I had to hurl out the window. Yeah. It was that bad. Now I have previously stated that I don’t get hangovers. I should probably amend this with “I don’t get hangovers IF I eat something while I’m drinking”. Work was work but it was after work that was the true champion of this particular day.

So he had been texting me these ridiculous things throughout the morning, like he was arguing with his friend about liking mayonnaise and roundabout asking me what my favorite sandwich was, and I was like what in the world is going in here in this day haha. So after I answered, and when I get off he was like let me know when you're close to getting here, which he normally never does so I'm like something is up and I have no idea what haha. So I get to his apartment and he's like we're going somewhere special for dinner, as I'm wearing shorts and a Scooby-Doo t-shirt after getting out of the shower and I'm like am I even dressed appropriately for this? He said I was fine but I was colored intrigued.

We started heading out of the area he lives in, which includes this park that you have to pass, and right before we pass it, he whips the car into a parking spot at the park and he's like we're here and I'm like...what? And he smiles and says we're gonna have a picnic and y'all, my heart melted. Like fucking butter sitting next to the furnace. No one has ever done anything like for me. So we get out of the car and he's already packed the car with everything we need. I see a cooler and it hits me. "This is what all those texts about mayonnaise we're about, aren't they?" He said yes, and I melted a little more haha. We had sandwiches and pasta salad and grapes and even sparkling cider (because thankfully he thought I wasn't up for drinking after the night before haha) and it was just really romantic. So after we eat, we're laying there and everything and he's like "You know, it's funny how every time we get together, we drink, and we keep saying how we almost say it." He was talking about the L word, and he's right, we do always say that haha. I almost said it the night before when we were at Tots. "But I'm not drunk now, and I love you." I smiled brightly and said that I love him too, which is all the more serendipitous because I was thinking about it a couple days before about how I loved him and it's just all wrapped up so perfectly. Did I mention that this day also marked three months of us officially dating? Yeah, like I said, it was wrapped up perfectly and just so amazing. I told them at Lisette's that I didn't feel like I'd ever really been in love, so to have Saturday shatter all those feelings away, I couldn't be happier.

We headed back home after a while, we lounged out in the perfect weather at the park for a good while. We watched Moana, which was incredible, and then I think we started watching some Buffy but I was so tired, I couldn't hang haha. After only getting three hours of sleep and still being drunk, I needed to go to bed. The next morning, we had planned on going to Pride, but the weather was against us and neither of us wanted to make the drive all the way down there just to have shitty weather dampen our time. So he suggested we go see Tomb Raider, another reason to fall in love with him haha, so we were gonna do that. But before we did, we were gonna grab some food. We settled on Sake House, but we had some time to kill before we had to leave because the movie wasn’t until 4. So somehow we started watching Golden Girls, which I’ve never even seen a full episode of. I know, I’m a bad gay. But I was laughing my ass off, I loved it. I ended up buying the first season through Apple TV so I can get into it because it had such replayability and it’s so fucking funny haha.

We went to Sake House, it was good but who doesn’t serve lunch on Sunday’s? Dumb. So it was a little price-ier than we were hoping and wanting but it ended up fine. So then we waited in his car for a little bit, he showed me some Wicked songs that I hadn’t heard. And then there was a moment where I said I love you again because we hadn’t said it since the park and I didn’t want it to be weird that we had finally said it and then we hadn’t said it since so I kissed him and told him and of course he said it back and it was a cute moment with the rain drizzling down. Ugh, I can’t.

Then we headed into Cinebowl to watch the movie. This guy at the concessions basically accused Allen’s ID of being fake, which obviously it isn’t, so that was annoying as hell. But the movie was great! I was so happy with how they transformed the reboot game into the movie, and better in my opinion, I’m so hoping for a sequel. I need it as bad as a Power Rangers sequel though, and that’s not looking so hot, so we’ll see haha. Then we were gonna go back to his place and watch some musicals, hence why we were listening to musicals in the car earlier, but we was like what if we bowled? He invited West and our plans were made. He used to be on a bowling team, so obviously we knew who was gonna win.

We got our bowling attire and headed to the lane. But of course, we ordered drinks and food because we're in our twenties haha. Allen won the first game, I won the second game (!), and Allen won the last game haha. But it was a fun time. Then we headed upstairs to the arcade and had a hoot and a holler up there, then, even though I think both of us wanted to head home earlier, we went home. Watched an episode of the Golden Girls, then we went to bed. And while we were in bed, Allen and I exchanged out I love yous again before heading to bed. We're the cutest, I know haha.

Getting up Monday morning for work was so much easier than Saturday haha. Thank God. Work wasn't too bad, just work. There wasn't a truck so I was able to get in my bins, which was nice. The rest of the day was meh, but I got a haircut after work and I cut a lot off actually. My long curls on top, like the style I've had for a while, is gone, and I look pretty good to be honest. If my phone will cooperate, I'll put a picture here.

"And he ain't gotta be paid,
But he gotta be trade." 😂
I sent it to Allen and he sent the cutest response haha. After that, I basically relaxed and got caught up on YouTube videos, watched some Golden Girls, FaceTimed with Benzo, and here we are haha. I'm super looking forward to heading to Richmond with Allen this weekend, and he's actually gonna get to show me around! So I'm excited for that. Shout out to Charli XCX for the inspo on this blog's title, it just seemed fitting. Plus it's been randomly popping up in my head lately, and now we can see why haha.

Loving it,

-- Justin

Thursday, April 12, 2018

PISSED (Here’s My Retainer)

| Now Playing: T.H.U.G. (Trade) by Todrick Hall |

I used to fucks with them Ken doll types,
Them femme doll types.
I had to switch up the hems I like,
Get a cap with the brims I like.
He got a whip with the rims I like,
Get that good right swipe.
Tyra to Khloe and Kims all like,
Kims all like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm looking for a gangsta,
Who got that eggplant.
He ain't at Kinkos,
But he printing in them sweatpants.
His name ain't Kenny G,
But he blow it like a sax.
Saggin, he swaggin, yeah, he a snack.

Tough lovers,
Hood brothers,
He got guns like a motherfucker.
Bang, bang, throw that thing till he cash it,
Classy in the streets but we ratchet.
Gimme a, gimme a thug,
I need a, I need a, I need a thug,
Find me a, find me a, find me a thug,
I want a, I want a, I want a thug.
Gimme a, gimme a, gimme a heartbreaker with the taper fade,
And he ain't gotta be paid but he gotta be trade.

So hi haha. It’s been a while since I've blogged, and life has just been so crazy. I can't even begin to explain how stressful work has been, or how little time I've had for writing, or just how upset I've been feeling about my living situation the past week or so. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and maybe I should start at the beginning.

Work. Or, as it's been lately, Frustration. I just feel like I can't get anywhere. The freight is absolutely out of control, nothing's getting better, Inventory is right around the corner and I just feel like there's nothing I can do to get a handle on the situation, and that's so frustrating when you want to do better and want to succeed as much as you can, but you just can't. And knowing that I have no control over that even though I've striving to do so, is so fucking irritating. I don't know. I'm hoping things will mellow out once Inventory is over, but who really knows. I keep saying that and nothing, but I'm at least trying to be an optimist here.

I did do some writing I think not this past Monday but the Monday before that. I came home, worked out, and then wrote ten pages in Book Two. I'm almost done with chapter ten and I ended up adding this flashback scene that originally was just going to be a scene told through dialogue, but the way it came out was absolutely thrilling so I'm really happy for that. Like I said, I haven't had a lot of time for writing lately, just because work has been a juggernaut of taking my attention, but I've been keeping it in the back burner for when the time is right.

Home life has been a little hectic. My uncle has this drug addict girlfriend that's basically living at the house, and I'm so over it. It's assumed that he's back on them because why the hell would he be with her if she's doing them and he's supposedly "clean"? I don't know. Places around this area are so unbelievably expensive and it's really disheartening. I found basically this perfect place and they have no vacancies. I'm holding out hope for them but in the mean time, home is just really stressful. That's why I've been playing so much Sims 4 lately. It calms the chaos.

On the plus side of things, my boyfriend and I are doing amazing. I went down there on the 31st when he got his first tattoo. He was pretty nervous, but he was fine and I love the mountains on his shoulder, they're super cute, and perfectly avoid the freckles there I love so much haha. Then this past weekend, we went and saw A Quiet Place and BITCH that movie is so fucking good, I totally recommend you go out and see it, it's incredible. Then to celebrate his getting an interview near Roanoke, I went back up there Monday night, got super really drunk, and by the end of the night, we were just really close and I feel even closer to him now after that, and it's just been a wonderful place to land amid the chaos I've been feeling in every other direction. He's so incredible.

Benzo's grandma is in the hospital. On Easter, I went out to dinner with them and she was fine, but then she's basically been in the hospital ever since and it's crazy. It's basically like stroke symptoms but it's not a stroke. I don't understand how the hospital don't know what's going on with it, it's annoying. I just want her to get better because honestly she's an angel on the Earth. I spent this Tuesday night and Wednesday, my day off, with Benzo and we ate like kings and discovered this new hilarious Sims 4 Let's Play called Breed Out The Ugly and bitch, it fucked us up haha. Ugh, so good.

And I think that's about it. I'll get back to regular blogging here soon, but things just have to cool down. I'm going to Pride, for the first time, with Allen and I think West this weekend, so that should be fun. I just want Inventory to be over. Oh, and Todrick's new album is bomb as fuck, I reacted to it and biiiitch. Give it a listen.

Pissed but on the road to recovery,

-- Justin

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Hope You're Invited, Girl

| Now Playing: Say Amen (Saturday Night) by Panic At The Disco |

Been traveling in packs that I can't carry anymore,
Been waiting for somebody else to carry me.
There's nothing else there for me at my door,
All the people I know aren't who they used to be.
And if I try to change my life one more day,
There would be nobody else to save
And I can't change into a person I don't wanna be so,
Oh, it's Saturday night!

I pray for the wicked on the weekend,
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh, oh, it's Saturday night!
Swear to God, I aint' ever gonna repent,
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh, oh, it's Saturday night, yeah!

If I had one more day to wish,
If I had one more day,
To be better than I could have ever been.
If I had one more day to wish,
If I had one more day,
I could be better but baby.
Oh, it's Saturday night!

Let me start off by saying how thankful I was to have Wednesday to just recover and relax. While it sucked to get another point for missing work, it was really something that I needed. Heading back to work was...a lot. Luckily there wasn't a truck Thursday night so that meant that coming in Friday was going to be awesome. And it was. I got to get in my bins, and actually sift through them and get them situated, it was also very needed. Everyone is freaking out because our 30 Day Inventory Walk is Tuesday, and everyone's trying to get ready for it, but honestly, sis, good luck. I'm just trying to make sure my bins look as good as they possibly can.

In other news, because of the weather that was / did happen Saturday, Allen decided to move the party up to Friday night so that we wouldn't have to worry about the weather or anything getting in the way of our Scooby Doo fun. Which I think worked out for the better in the long run, it gave both Allen and I time to readjust to the upcoming work week, which is needed for both of us really.

So after work Friday, I came home and started getting ready for the party. I decided to buy a regular orange shirt at work just because I was worried about being too hot in the sweater I had bought. Which ended up being a wonderful decision especially when factoring in drinking and what not. So I got there, and we just hung out, listening to music and drinking and talking. West got home and we helped him get ready, then the people started to arriver. A little late, but hey, better than never. Lisette and Kelly got there, and we started to watch the first movie and played Kings while doing it. We never finished the game, but it was a lot of fun. Amanda and CJ joined right after the movie was about to end. Then there was some Amanda and CJ drama, God love em, but West, CJ and I were having a good time out on the balcony reliving the first time I had ever drank haha. Also, I absolutely loved the moment where Allen and I were out there and after a kiss, he said, "See, I almost said it." He was referring to the conversation we had had the last time I was down there, involving the L word, so that was great. Both of us are on the same page as far as that is concerned, and I'm super thankful for that.

We got really drunk. Or rather, I got really drunk? After everyone left (shout out to Kelly for the awesome phrase in the title that I kept repeating when she was talking about one of their co-workers about the party haha), Allen and West and I were still going strong, listening to music, having a good time. Then bed time came, and Allen and I were so damn tired. I brought my behemoth table fan with me, and it was a saving grace. I slept the best I've ever slept up there. West had said something the night before about waffles for breakfast, but they were too hungover for that haha. I just don't get hangovers? I'm blessed I guess haha.

We joined West as we watched the Netflix show Love, which is literally the most cringe worthy and awkward show I've ever seen in my life, and then Allen and I decided on Chinese as it started to snow. Chinese Kitchen was incredible, even if it did take an hour to get there haha. West went to work and then Allen and I watched the second Scooby Doo movie, followed by my leaving because I was worried that with how much snow there was, I would get snowed in.

I came home, worked out on the treadmill, rematched Drag Race and I'm absolutely in love with Dusty Ray Bottoms (Neva loved ya!) and also Miz Cracker. Literally my Top 2 are Dusty and Cracker. Anyway, then I played Sims, downloaded a Trixie Mattel Sims for the gallery, made her a daughter after my hypothetical drag name of Vanta Black, and downloaded this awesome home called Trixie's Glamour Ranch from the gallery haha. Then I headed to bed with the return of the Modern Family rematch. I'm unsure if I'll continue, but I don't know what to do without it, to be honest.

Today, I've done laundry, did a little bit of writing, and about to play more Sims, and easy day haha. I'm so fucking excited for Panic's new album, Pray For The Wicked. Both the song in the NP and the other song he released, (Fuck A) Silver Lining, are so fucking good, I'm hyped. Let's hope this work week doesn't go as poorly as I expect it to. I also bought the Sever audiobook! I'm in the process of listening to it, and ugh, I just love it so much.

Forever invited,

-- Justin

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

RTA: Run That Ass

| Now Playing: I Think I'm In Love With You by Jessica Simpson |

Every time you're near baby,
I get kinda crazy in my head for you,
I don't know what to do.
And oh baby,
I get kinda shaky when they mention you,
I just lose my cool.
My friends tell me,
Something has come over me.
And I think I know what it is,
I think I'm in love.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,
I've been doing silly things when it comes to you.
In love, boy I think that I'm in love with you,
I've been tellin' all my friends what I feel for you.

I don't know what's gotten into me,
But God, I think I know what it is,
I think I'm in love

Look at me go, actually posting a blog on Wednesday haha. Maybe it's because I actually got to de-stress from the usual work craziness. It snowed super hard last night, and, because I've been fighting sleep since the weekend, I decided to stay home and tend to my mental health and actually get some sleep. I don't know why I've had so much trouble sleeping since leaving my boyfriend's place, but it's been unreal how tired I've been at work. So today was a 'lax chill day full of minimal writing in Book Two and playing the Sims. Gotta love it.

I Think I'm In Love With You has been coming on so often on shuffle lately, and being stuck in my head, there's no way I couldn't put it in the NP. Jessica Simpson honestly was such an icon, we miss those Newlyweds days haha.

Work has been crazy, which is nothing new. It's just been harder than usual because, aside from not being able to sleep, I've been getting headaches the past couple days. Today's the first day I haven't had one, and maybe it's because I took some time to detox from everything. Monday night my stomach kept hurting, I didn't even eat dinner. But I'm feeling better now. I just really think that this snow day really needed to happen. The title of this blog is a shout out to Faith Rose and Morgan Francesca. IT's something we always say to each other, but now we have abbreviated it with just RTA haha. We're a mess.

Tuesday was a mess because I had so much live freight, but kept being given all these side projects to do, so I was more than a little frustrated. All the more reason why I think this day needed to happen. I've just been really feeling the work stress lately, probably because things are getting worse and Inventory is right around the corner, so there's also that to deal with. 

The most enthralling thing lately has been me getting back into the Sims. I forgot how relaxing and wonderful it is to come home and destress from everything and just be in a totally different world. So my main Sim, Talvinder Forte, and her husband, Homer, saw their eldest child move out as a teen, buy his own house, and adopt two adorable puppies. Ever since I bought the Cats & Dogs pack (half off too like all the other packs I've gotten haha), I've been obsessed. I made Ambrose a husky named Barbie (Which if you know me, is an actual goal of mine) and a pink (!) poodle named Trixie. That's right, named after Trixie Mattel, you're welcome. She won All Stars 3 and she's in Sims 4 in dog form haha. 

Anyway, so after finding Ambrose the girl of his dreams, I added Natailya to his house, which is a restored diner modeled after the diner on Riverdale that Joseph Birdsong either made or downloaded, and I remodeled it myself, it's super cute. So then I started to mess around playing as Talvinder's long forgotten spicy sister, Torrance. She aged up, moved out of her parents' place, stopped being a meddlesome teenager, and got her life together. She adopted a white greyhound named Abel, and moved into a cute little boathouse (Also made by Joseph Birdsong haha) and she too found the love of her life, who I made based off of a base Sim. His name is Darling Walsh, and he's honestly pretty perfect. They just had twins, Heath and Ximena. And with all that, Talvinder and Homer moved the family into an upscale mansion so that little Ursula and Dodger, along with new family cat Crispy (an ADORABLE white sphynx cat) so all my Sims are in Brindleton Bay. Is it sad that writing all of that was enthralling for me? Oh well. Quality content, as always.

They're calling for more snow this weekend, so the Scooby Doo party is up in there air now. And I even bought this amazing magnifying glass that's also a flashlight for the party. It might happen Friday instead, but only time will tell. Also, I finished Season Six of Modern Family so now I don't know what to do for when I go to bed haha.

The audiobook for Sever is finally out!! Took long enough haha, but I'm so excited to have it out on Audible, Amazon, and iTunes. I bought the iTunes version because I'm forever trash for myself, but I'm super proud to finally have it on audiobook. Ugh. Things are looking up.

Always running that ass,

-- Justin