Blanche & Dorothy Take A Trip!

| Now Playing: In Loving Memory by Chester Lockhart |

Here lies a boy,
Dearly departed,
Killed for no reason at all.
Trusted in you,
Left broken-hearted,
Thought you'd be there to catch my fall.
I've been paying,
For your sins.

You stole,
You lied,
You buried the best parts of me.
My heart,
Has died,
It rests in loving memory.

Beautiful boy,
Bathed in disaster,
Ruining lives just for fun.
Trial by fire,
Guilty of murder,
Baby there's nowhere left to run.
Now you're paying,
For your sins.

You stole,
You lied,
You buried the best parts of me.
My heart,
Has died,
It rests in loving memory.
_______________________________________________________________

So it's been a time, let me tell ya. It's been a very very very very long week. I knew it was going to be long, but I had no idea that I was going to have so many moments of just breaking down and crying. Of course, that's only really related to work and home life, and not the wondrous time I get to spend with my boyfriend, it's just been a lot.

I got off work early on Friday, and my boyfriend told me all that we would be doing last weekend, which was nice to have an itinerary to go off of haha. But it was also good that I got off early because I had overtime because I had to rush home, pack and get ready, because he was leaving straight from work to come and pick me up so we could get to Richmond. He gets here, and he had an unknown number call him that ended up being a job interview, and they ended up calling twenty minutes later to set up the interview! So that's super exciting for him.

And then, something happened while I was getting gas on the way home Friday. I can't talk about it, because it's a super secret project, and I know that's super annoying to even say, but I'm so damn excited about it, I could burst. After getting this notification, I got a call right after my boyfriend did while we were driving to Richmond, and confirmed the secret project and I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM. Literally, I never would think that something like that / this would happen, so the fact that it is, I can't even comprehend. ALSO, Chester Lockhart's new song came out, it's fucking incredible, and Chester replied to my tweet about it so there's that haha.

So we headed to Cooper's Hawk, this restaurant / wine tasting place in Richmond, met his mom there (where she kissed me on the mouth, so that was interesting and humbling I guess) and we did the tasting. It was way more dry than I particularly like, but it was fun. Then we ate dinner, which was hella bougie, but was delicious. Then we headed back to the house and drank, listened to music, and just talked, it was a lot of fun haha. Oh, and we had this blueberry dessert wine that was so fucking good ugh. I need it in my life, Lord. There was also this dream I had about my boyfriend where I asked him "Do you have something for me?" in the middle of an office, let's just say we gave them a show haha. But I kept saying that to him and it was a barrel of laughs.

The next day I got to sleep in while they went to run some errands pertaining to student loans, which honestly sounds awful, but it went well for them, so that's all we can ask for. Then we went to this amazing sushi place. I've only ever had like pseudo-sushi from like Sakura, not actually from a sushi place, so this was sort of a first for me. It was like made fresh as soon as you order it, all you can eat, so the three of us were in heaven. But we ate too much, and Allen and I ended up taking a nap together upstairs after because it was just so much haha. Then he took me on a tour of Richmond, I got to see Carytown and all it has to offer, so that was nice. Then we went to the Arcade Bar, which was really fun, but they need a bigger venue for what they want to do. I got to play the Simpsons arcade game for the first time! So that was a huge staple for me checked off haha. While waiting for our Havana 59 reservation, we answered relationship questions from an article on his phone haha, and I'm glad we're on the same page when it comes to a lot of things. We headed to Havana, and I was a little nervous that I wouldn't like anything because of the small menu, but it ended up being really really good, so that nervousness was shed fairly quickly. Pam and Micah, Deb's neighbors, were there and no. We also met this crazy pair of couples and they were way too fucking much. Then I got to meet Rebekah, one of his friends from home, and that went great, love her. Then we headed home, we were so tuckered out. I had another sexual dream, weird, and also this reoccurring dream I've had before where I'm part of a group of friends that go to this cabin and there's always a killer. This was the third time I had it, I've survived twice before, and I survived this time. There was this guy named Brandon we thought was the killer but Amanda that works at the Deli at work was then thought to be the killer, but she said she was only the accomplice to the real killer, who was Caito Potatoe from YouTube. I have weird dreams, I know.

So then we were preparing for the brunch where I was to meet more of his friends, aka really just Kelly and Chelsea. Bekah came over first, and we had mimosas and had amazing food that his mom made, it's just so good. Then we went to his haircut appointment, his girl Joanie is a bop, and then he got it colored, because she luckily had time. Beech made a guest appearance, and I went to Publix at got some of the pineapple cider we had at the Arcade Bar that I loved, while his hair was cooking haha. Then we headed straight back, singing songs all the time, and we even did a duet of A Whole New World and Allen was so cute at the end, ugh, I can't even take it. After a wonderful time, he dropped me off at home, which was great. We planned on this Williamsburg spa trip, but it's crazy expensive, but we will see.

Ever since then, it's all been about work, and let me tell ya, it's been a struggle. I worked 12 and a half hours Monday to make up for the fact that I was able to get my four hour shift on Sunday off. Then Tuesday, the day before inventory, I worked until after 8pm, another 12 hour day. Then Wednesday, the day off Inventory, which included the rudest people who have ever done our inventory, I worked another 12 hour day. So yesterday when I finally got to leave at 2:30, and was told I had so much overtime to take my four hour shift today off, you can see how excited I would be by that haha. So today's been a chill day, shopping for the rest of my Disney outfit for tomorrow at my boyfriend's place, so that should be fun. We're going as Aladdin and Jasmine because we're cute haha. And that's really about it haha.

Except for the delicious joke I made, as Dorothy from Golden Girls, when Allen, who was portraying Blanche, said something about dating a 17 year old tennis player, I side, "Oh good, so when you first drop your balls, you'll have something in common." I love us haha.

Recovering from both a getaway and work trip of differing outlooks,

-- Justin

Ily2

| Now Playing: I Love You Like That by Dagny |

You hate that I usually don't open up,
I know when I say it, doesn't say enough,
With you close I'm the happiest I ever was.
I tend to avoid getting emotional,
I'm not shutting you out, it's just the way I'm born,
But I see myself next to you until we're old.

You know how they say you got the real thing,
When nothing else matters,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you, I love you,
I love you like that.
All I wanna say is I got the real thing,
And nothing else matters,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you like that,
I love you, I love you,
I love you like that.
__________________________________________________________

Here's a semi-regular update, I guess? I've just been so busy and bumping lately that I really haven't even had time to sit down and relax. But it's been enjoyable for the most part, and by most part, I mean while not working haha. So let me just revel in this weekend because it was amazing.

Friday after work, and after the rough aversion of this work week, I needed some relaxation. This came in the form of the bottle of Riesling I bought and was fully prepared to take part in when my boyfriend messaged me and asked if I wanted to come with him and two girls he works with out in Blacksburg. And since I wanted to drink anyway, it just totally worked out haha. So I got ready and all that jazz and soon enough I was up there. Allen said we had to go pick up Kelly, and that Lisette would meet us there because she was on a first date...and that she was bringing him along. I don’t know, I just think that’s a weird end to a first date but hey, that’s just me.

So they wanted to go to Sharkey’s but that was hella busy and Allen was trying to convince them to go to the Park, which would have been really fun, but that didn’t happen. By chance we ended up going to Tots, which I just really don’t like based on my last experience there when I was still working at the liquor store, but Allen and I were pretty much silently out voted at this point so we decided we would give it a try. And it was fine I guess, just really loud and annoying and everything else that I remember from my first time being there. But after about maybe twenty minutes or so they were talking about just going back to Lisette’s place and hanging out so we did that.

We played like some watered down version of Headbands I think is what it’s called? So that was fun but Kelly was knocked out shortly after that, and the rest of us stayed up and did this like truth or dare thing which ended with Allen stripping down to his underwear and running down the stairs and out of Lisette’s apartment building haha. It was a fun time. But we felt sort of bad for Logan, Lisette’s date because it seemed like maybe they weren’t hitting it off so that sort of sucked. But overall and as a group we had a good time.

I had to work Saturday, but I stayed over with Allen, and let me tell ya, I was in a state. I hadn’t eaten since lunch that Friday, and I drank a lot, so waking up Saturday morning was a chore. Honestly I was afraid the entire time I was driving down to get to work that I was going to throw up so I kept slamming my driver window down in case I had to hurl out the window. Yeah. It was that bad. Now I have previously stated that I don’t get hangovers. I should probably amend this with “I don’t get hangovers IF I eat something while I’m drinking”. Work was work but it was after work that was the true champion of this particular day.

So he had been texting me these ridiculous things throughout the morning, like he was arguing with his friend about liking mayonnaise and roundabout asking me what my favorite sandwich was, and I was like what in the world is going in here in this day haha. So after I answered, and when I get off he was like let me know when you're close to getting here, which he normally never does so I'm like something is up and I have no idea what haha. So I get to his apartment and he's like we're going somewhere special for dinner, as I'm wearing shorts and a Scooby-Doo t-shirt after getting out of the shower and I'm like am I even dressed appropriately for this? He said I was fine but I was colored intrigued.

We started heading out of the area he lives in, which includes this park that you have to pass, and right before we pass it, he whips the car into a parking spot at the park and he's like we're here and I'm like...what? And he smiles and says we're gonna have a picnic and y'all, my heart melted. Like fucking butter sitting next to the furnace. No one has ever done anything like for me. So we get out of the car and he's already packed the car with everything we need. I see a cooler and it hits me. "This is what all those texts about mayonnaise we're about, aren't they?" He said yes, and I melted a little more haha. We had sandwiches and pasta salad and grapes and even sparkling cider (because thankfully he thought I wasn't up for drinking after the night before haha) and it was just really romantic. So after we eat, we're laying there and everything and he's like "You know, it's funny how every time we get together, we drink, and we keep saying how we almost say it." He was talking about the L word, and he's right, we do always say that haha. I almost said it the night before when we were at Tots. "But I'm not drunk now, and I love you." I smiled brightly and said that I love him too, which is all the more serendipitous because I was thinking about it a couple days before about how I loved him and it's just all wrapped up so perfectly. Did I mention that this day also marked three months of us officially dating? Yeah, like I said, it was wrapped up perfectly and just so amazing. I told them at Lisette's that I didn't feel like I'd ever really been in love, so to have Saturday shatter all those feelings away, I couldn't be happier.

We headed back home after a while, we lounged out in the perfect weather at the park for a good while. We watched Moana, which was incredible, and then I think we started watching some Buffy but I was so tired, I couldn't hang haha. After only getting three hours of sleep and still being drunk, I needed to go to bed. The next morning, we had planned on going to Pride, but the weather was against us and neither of us wanted to make the drive all the way down there just to have shitty weather dampen our time. So he suggested we go see Tomb Raider, another reason to fall in love with him haha, so we were gonna do that. But before we did, we were gonna grab some food. We settled on Sake House, but we had some time to kill before we had to leave because the movie wasn’t until 4. So somehow we started watching Golden Girls, which I’ve never even seen a full episode of. I know, I’m a bad gay. But I was laughing my ass off, I loved it. I ended up buying the first season through Apple TV so I can get into it because it had such replayability and it’s so fucking funny haha.

We went to Sake House, it was good but who doesn’t serve lunch on Sunday’s? Dumb. So it was a little price-ier than we were hoping and wanting but it ended up fine. So then we waited in his car for a little bit, he showed me some Wicked songs that I hadn’t heard. And then there was a moment where I said I love you again because we hadn’t said it since the park and I didn’t want it to be weird that we had finally said it and then we hadn’t said it since so I kissed him and told him and of course he said it back and it was a cute moment with the rain drizzling down. Ugh, I can’t.

Then we headed into Cinebowl to watch the movie. This guy at the concessions basically accused Allen’s ID of being fake, which obviously it isn’t, so that was annoying as hell. But the movie was great! I was so happy with how they transformed the reboot game into the movie, and better in my opinion, I’m so hoping for a sequel. I need it as bad as a Power Rangers sequel though, and that’s not looking so hot, so we’ll see haha. Then we were gonna go back to his place and watch some musicals, hence why we were listening to musicals in the car earlier, but we was like what if we bowled? He invited West and our plans were made. He used to be on a bowling team, so obviously we knew who was gonna win.

We got our bowling attire and headed to the lane. But of course, we ordered drinks and food because we're in our twenties haha. Allen won the first game, I won the second game (!), and Allen won the last game haha. But it was a fun time. Then we headed upstairs to the arcade and had a hoot and a holler up there, then, even though I think both of us wanted to head home earlier, we went home. Watched an episode of the Golden Girls, then we went to bed. And while we were in bed, Allen and I exchanged out I love yous again before heading to bed. We're the cutest, I know haha.

Getting up Monday morning for work was so much easier than Saturday haha. Thank God. Work wasn't too bad, just work. There wasn't a truck so I was able to get in my bins, which was nice. The rest of the day was meh, but I got a haircut after work and I cut a lot off actually. My long curls on top, like the style I've had for a while, is gone, and I look pretty good to be honest. If my phone will cooperate, I'll put a picture here.

"And he ain't gotta be paid,
But he gotta be trade." 😂

I sent it to Allen and he sent the cutest response haha. After that, I basically relaxed and got caught up on YouTube videos, watched some Golden Girls, FaceTimed with Benzo, and here we are haha. I'm super looking forward to heading to Richmond with Allen this weekend, and he's actually gonna get to show me around! So I'm excited for that. Shout out to Charli XCX for the inspo on this blog's title, it just seemed fitting. Plus it's been randomly popping up in my head lately, and now we can see why haha.

Loving it,

-- Justin

PISSED (Here’s My Retainer)

| Now Playing: T.H.U.G. (Trade) by Todrick Hall |

I used to fucks with them Ken doll types,
Them femme doll types.
I had to switch up the hems I like,
Get a cap with the brims I like.
He got a whip with the rims I like,
Get that good right swipe.
Tyra to Khloe and Kims all like,
Kims all like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm looking for a gangsta,
Who got that eggplant.
He ain't at Kinkos,
But he printing in them sweatpants.
His name ain't Kenny G,
But he blow it like a sax.
Saggin, he swaggin, yeah, he a snack.

Tough lovers,
Hood brothers,
Undercovers,
He got guns like a motherfucker.
Bang, bang, throw that thing till he cash it,
Classy in the streets but we ratchet.
Gimme a, gimme a thug,
I need a, I need a, I need a thug,
Find me a, find me a, find me a thug,
I want a, I want a, I want a thug.
Gimme a, gimme a, gimme a heartbreaker with the taper fade,
And he ain't gotta be paid but he gotta be trade.
_______________________________________________________________________

So hi haha. It’s been a while since I've blogged, and life has just been so crazy. I can't even begin to explain how stressful work has been, or how little time I've had for writing, or just how upset I've been feeling about my living situation the past week or so. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and maybe I should start at the beginning.

Work. Or, as it's been lately, Frustration. I just feel like I can't get anywhere. The freight is absolutely out of control, nothing's getting better, Inventory is right around the corner and I just feel like there's nothing I can do to get a handle on the situation, and that's so frustrating when you want to do better and want to succeed as much as you can, but you just can't. And knowing that I have no control over that even though I've striving to do so, is so fucking irritating. I don't know. I'm hoping things will mellow out once Inventory is over, but who really knows. I keep saying that and nothing, but I'm at least trying to be an optimist here.

I did do some writing I think not this past Monday but the Monday before that. I came home, worked out, and then wrote ten pages in Book Two. I'm almost done with chapter ten and I ended up adding this flashback scene that originally was just going to be a scene told through dialogue, but the way it came out was absolutely thrilling so I'm really happy for that. Like I said, I haven't had a lot of time for writing lately, just because work has been a juggernaut of taking my attention, but I've been keeping it in the back burner for when the time is right.

Home life has been a little hectic. My uncle has this drug addict girlfriend that's basically living at the house, and I'm so over it. It's assumed that he's back on them because why the hell would he be with her if she's doing them and he's supposedly "clean"? I don't know. Places around this area are so unbelievably expensive and it's really disheartening. I found basically this perfect place and they have no vacancies. I'm holding out hope for them but in the mean time, home is just really stressful. That's why I've been playing so much Sims 4 lately. It calms the chaos.

On the plus side of things, my boyfriend and I are doing amazing. I went down there on the 31st when he got his first tattoo. He was pretty nervous, but he was fine and I love the mountains on his shoulder, they're super cute, and perfectly avoid the freckles there I love so much haha. Then this past weekend, we went and saw A Quiet Place and BITCH that movie is so fucking good, I totally recommend you go out and see it, it's incredible. Then to celebrate his getting an interview near Roanoke, I went back up there Monday night, got super really drunk, and by the end of the night, we were just really close and I feel even closer to him now after that, and it's just been a wonderful place to land amid the chaos I've been feeling in every other direction. He's so incredible.

Benzo's grandma is in the hospital. On Easter, I went out to dinner with them and she was fine, but then she's basically been in the hospital ever since and it's crazy. It's basically like stroke symptoms but it's not a stroke. I don't understand how the hospital don't know what's going on with it, it's annoying. I just want her to get better because honestly she's an angel on the Earth. I spent this Tuesday night and Wednesday, my day off, with Benzo and we ate like kings and discovered this new hilarious Sims 4 Let's Play called Breed Out The Ugly and bitch, it fucked us up haha. Ugh, so good.

And I think that's about it. I'll get back to regular blogging here soon, but things just have to cool down. I'm going to Pride, for the first time, with Allen and I think West this weekend, so that should be fun. I just want Inventory to be over. Oh, and Todrick's new album is bomb as fuck, I reacted to it and biiiitch. Give it a listen.

Pissed but on the road to recovery,

-- Justin