Thursday, April 12, 2018

PISSED (Here’s My Retainer)

| Now Playing: T.H.U.G. (Trade) by Todrick Hall |

I used to fucks with them Ken doll types,
Them femme doll types.
I had to switch up the hems I like,
Get a cap with the brims I like.
He got a whip with the rims I like,
Get that good right swipe.
Tyra to Khloe and Kims all like,
Kims all like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm looking for a gangsta,
Who got that eggplant.
He ain't at Kinkos,
But he printing in them sweatpants.
His name ain't Kenny G,
But he blow it like a sax.
Saggin, he swaggin, yeah, he a snack.

Tough lovers,
Hood brothers,
Undercovers,
He got guns like a motherfucker.
Bang, bang, throw that thing till he cash it,
Classy in the streets but we ratchet.
Gimme a, gimme a thug,
I need a, I need a, I need a thug,
Find me a, find me a, find me a thug,
I want a, I want a, I want a thug.
Gimme a, gimme a, gimme a heartbreaker with the taper fade,
And he ain't gotta be paid but he gotta be trade.
_______________________________________________________________________

So hi haha. It’s been a while since I've blogged, and life has just been so crazy. I can't even begin to explain how stressful work has been, or how little time I've had for writing, or just how upset I've been feeling about my living situation the past week or so. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and maybe I should start at the beginning.

Work. Or, as it's been lately, Frustration. I just feel like I can't get anywhere. The freight is absolutely out of control, nothing's getting better, Inventory is right around the corner and I just feel like there's nothing I can do to get a handle on the situation, and that's so frustrating when you want to do better and want to succeed as much as you can, but you just can't. And knowing that I have no control over that even though I've striving to do so, is so fucking irritating. I don't know. I'm hoping things will mellow out once Inventory is over, but who really knows. I keep saying that and nothing, but I'm at least trying to be an optimist here.

I did do some writing I think not this past Monday but the Monday before that. I came home, worked out, and then wrote ten pages in Book Two. I'm almost done with chapter ten and I ended up adding this flashback scene that originally was just going to be a scene told through dialogue, but the way it came out was absolutely thrilling so I'm really happy for that. Like I said, I haven't had a lot of time for writing lately, just because work has been a juggernaut of taking my attention, but I've been keeping it in the back burner for when the time is right.

Home life has been a little hectic. My uncle has this drug addict girlfriend that's basically living at the house, and I'm so over it. It's assumed that he's back on them because why the hell would he be with her if she's doing them and he's supposedly "clean"? I don't know. Places around this area are so unbelievably expensive and it's really disheartening. I found basically this perfect place and they have no vacancies. I'm holding out hope for them but in the mean time, home is just really stressful. That's why I've been playing so much Sims 4 lately. It calms the chaos.

On the plus side of things, my boyfriend and I are doing amazing. I went down there on the 31st when he got his first tattoo. He was pretty nervous, but he was fine and I love the mountains on his shoulder, they're super cute, and perfectly avoid the freckles there I love so much haha. Then this past weekend, we went and saw A Quiet Place and BITCH that movie is so fucking good, I totally recommend you go out and see it, it's incredible. Then to celebrate his getting an interview near Roanoke, I went back up there Monday night, got super really drunk, and by the end of the night, we were just really close and I feel even closer to him now after that, and it's just been a wonderful place to land amid the chaos I've been feeling in every other direction. He's so incredible.

Benzo's grandma is in the hospital. On Easter, I went out to dinner with them and she was fine, but then she's basically been in the hospital ever since and it's crazy. It's basically like stroke symptoms but it's not a stroke. I don't understand how the hospital don't know what's going on with it, it's annoying. I just want her to get better because honestly she's an angel on the Earth. I spent this Tuesday night and Wednesday, my day off, with Benzo and we ate like kings and discovered this new hilarious Sims 4 Let's Play called Breed Out The Ugly and bitch, it fucked us up haha. Ugh, so good.

And I think that's about it. I'll get back to regular blogging here soon, but things just have to cool down. I'm going to Pride, for the first time, with Allen and I think West this weekend, so that should be fun. I just want Inventory to be over. Oh, and Todrick's new album is bomb as fuck, I reacted to it and biiiitch. Give it a listen.

Pissed but on the road to recovery,

-- Justin

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