#Official

| Now Playing: Supernova by Ansel Elgort |

I feel like Atlas, I got my back stretched

You wanna grab this, you don't understand this

I keep it oppressed, work on my realness

Reading my manifest, I'll address your request.

I've been waking up drenched in sweat,

All my dreams full of my regret.

I keep hearing what my mother said,

Eyes are open, all I see is red.

I met you in California,

You told me you loved him in Georgia.

Your heart's in the ground frozen over,

My heart's in the sky, supernova.

I met you in California,

You told me you loved him in Georgia.

Your heart's in the ground frozen over,

My heart's in the sky, supernova.

________________________________________________________

Quite the ending to the week, I have to say. Actually, it's been pretty damn incredible! Work was just fantastic. I can't explain how much difference that one hour makes haha. It's really dumb, but it's true.  So as far as that goes, it's been pretty great. Plus, I was able to sort of get ahead of the game as far as the rest goes, by prepping and preparing the back wall, so all that needs to be done when I go on overnights is worry about the rest of the department. Speaking of overnights, that's happening tonight. I'm still kind of weary about it all, I don't know why. But I guess we'll just have to see how that goes. 

But the best part of this blog will be about this weekend, specifically Saturday into Sunday. As I mentioned in my last blog, I asked Allen if he wanted to get dinner this weekend. Well we were talking about it Friday, and I asked him if he had anywhere specific that he wanted to go. He mentioned this place I've never heard of before in Roanoke, called Carlos Brazilian, and let me just tell you, it was amazing. Before the amazing food though, Allen mentioned he was probably going to dress up a little bit, and said we should do it together. So I thought, why not? I don't have any real dressy clothes, but a bitch works with what she has. I paired my purple button up shirt, wearing one of my faves, my lavender t-shirt, underneath, and then I asked my grandma if I could borrow a tie from my grandpa. I don't even own a tie, and the only time I've ever worn one was when I was in my dad's wedding and that was only because I had to wear a tie. So essentially, this was my first time. I just wanted to go out of my comfort zone a little bit, sticking to this plan to push myself out of that zone this year, and go all out. So that's what I did. We made plans to meet at the restaurant at 5, so a little pit stop getting gas, and I was on my way.

Mr. Grey will see you now...

The entrance to this restaurant? Insane. First of all, you can't even see the restaurant from the road. And since I had never been here, I was like, what the hell is going on haha. It has this massive hill of an entrance, like you have to drive up the really steep hill to even get there, but after we got in the restaurant, I saw why. So anyway, I got there super early, because I didn't know how long it would take me to get gas or how bad the traffic was going to be. He pulled up, I got out of the car and his first thing was "You're wearing a tie!" haha. I honestly figured he was going to wear a tie as well, but he wasn't, so I joked that I was "upstaging" him haha. We kissed, and then headed into the restaurant. 

Bitch, this restaurant? Gorge. I mean, it was a little overwhelming and more than a little breathtaking. It looks so fancy and so nice and so glamour, I was like "Well, I don't feel the least bit overdressed in a place like this so thank God I wore the tie." Allen agreed, and said he'd wished he'd worn one if he knew it was going to be so extravagant. So we get seated, and aside from the sun being just a smudge annoying, the view, bitch, the view. It was absolutely gorgeous. The reason this place is on a hill was obvious when you looking out from the dining room and saw the mountains lit up from the sun and all the various eateries and places to shop down Electric Road, it was just stunning. It was just a really romantic setting that I don't think either one of us was prepared for or expecting. But it was absolutely beautiful.

The view from Carlos Brazilian

We ended up ordering one of the specials for the night, New York strip steak covered in a (I think) cabernet type wine black peppercorn sauce that was literally, to die. Literally, I can't even describe how good it was. But both of us were dipping our vegetables and potatoes in it, that's how good it was. So while we're eating, and obviously we've been having great conversation after this, but he starts to bring something up. Now, going into this date, I'll admit I was a little nervous. Mainly because I've been wanting to talk to Allen about making us official, if we both we're ready for that of course. And I even submitted the inquiry to Sam & Joe on their podcast, which they answered, and just said to talk about it. So I wanted to bring it up during dinner, but really wasn't sure how to. Well, Allen starts with saying that he's going to have to move back to Richmond. Hearing those words, I was a little crushed and sad, because I didn't know what else the conversation was going to entail. I was sort of scared that it meant everything with us was over, and I didn't know how to feel. But after explaining everything, and I totally 100% understand why he has to move back, I felt a little better. Which led him into his next topic, which was us. He said he didn't know where my head was at as far as us, especially with the fact that he'll be moving over three hours away in July, but was wondering about being official. I told him that it's perfect timing, because I was wondering about us and being official as well, and he said that it was okay if I needed more time. I said I didn't need more time, and that it didn't bother me that he was going to be moving away, because I think he's worth it, and I want us to be official. So that settled that and we're officially dating! It feels really good to be in a good place not only in my dating life, but also my general life? Like work hasn't been getting to me lately, I've actually genuinely enjoyed work here lately, and I just feel really good about life right now. It's so weird, because as soon as I realized that we were still seeing each other, the fact that he's moving in a few months doesn't bother me at all. Like, sure, I'd love for him to be closer, but that just means I'll have a fun little road trip to see him haha. I just can't accurately describe how much I like this guy, and how easy it is to be myself around him, and how aligned a lot of the things we want out of life are. Him moving back doesn't make me second guess my feelings at all.

Back to dinner. He got us a bottle of riesling for us to enjoy with our meal. Equal parts sweet wine and dry wine, so it was the perfect balance for both of us haha. We talked a lot about our families, and about coming out, and just the early parts of our lives, so that was really wonderful to get to know each other and all that. We talked about getting some drinks somewhere else, so we could still talk and see each other, so we headed to Applebees over at Tanglewood, and had a good time. Except our waitress was really frustrating, but I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt since we didn't order any food, just drinks, but I low-key think she forgot about us. And I had to stop someone else to get the check. So then he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place and watch a movie or something, so we left Applebees and headed to his place. It was there that I finally gave him his gift (which is a reason he said he didn't mind and wanted to pay for our very expensive meal, like crazy expensive) and when I finally gave it to him, his mouth dropped. He just stared at it for the longest time, jaw dropped, saying "Oh my god" and all that haha. It was great to see how happy he was written all over his face. He showed West and was like "It's from my favorite musical!" and then Allen said "Well, you definitely listen well" haha. We shared a kiss and then headed to his room for a little bit, where we kissed some more, and he asked if I wanted to watch a movie or play a board game with West, so we ended up playing Clue with West, which was hilarious. Of course, Allen was Miss Scarlet, go figure, I was my main bitch Patty Peacock. Anyway, it didn't last long because Allen guessed it correctly, but it went over both of our heads, so West was laughing at us haha. We then played Life, and West mentioned he wasn't ready for the amount of Suburban White Mom jokes Allen was going to make, which is funny because Allen was ready to go Suburban White Mom on our waitress at Applebees, saying his Helen was about to come out, so I joked that my Diane would come out, so there's that haha. But Life was a lot of fun, even if I did have FOUR different jobs, go to college TWICE, and lose my job twice, but ya know, life. 

Then we settled down in the bedroom, watching Once On This Island. Half the production he was in in high school, which was super cute to see him in, and then half a bigger production in the Philippines. But it was pretty good, even if it does have some very Disney qualities haha. Then we settled down, got a little hot and heavy, and that was very good haha. We woke up the next morning, and Allen asked me if he could post on Facebook about us being in a relationship, to which of course I said yes, and immediately Faith Rose and Morgan blew my phone up, and people on Facebook did as well haha. Also, a side note that during Life last night, Allen referred to me as his boyfriend, and that felt so damn good. 

And then I came home, albeit very reluctantly and after a lot of kisses from Allen, to get ready to fuck my sleep up in accordance with me starting my week of overnight tonight. I fell asleep around 11:30, and slept all the way through until a little bit after four, so a bitch is well rested, if still not ready for this week. I'm prayed it won't be that bad, and I don't think it will be, I'm just not ready for my body to be under such conditions, ya know? I also recorded and posted both my reactions to Troye's My My My! and the End Game music video, so that happened. I'm waiting on Camila's album, because I want to have the time for it, and so that's why a Camila song isn't in the NP haha. But I do love me some Ansel Elgort music, he always brings the fire. But anyway, we'll see how it goes over the next four days. 

Officially happy,

-- Justin