Saturday, July 22, 2017

Full Dark, No Stars

| Now Playing: Million Dollar Man by Lana Del Rey |

I don't know how you convince them and get them,
I don't know what you do.
It's unbelievable.
And I don't know how you get over,
Get over.
Someone as dangerous, tainted, and flawless as you

One for the money,
Two for the show.
I love you honey,
I'm ready, I'm ready to go.
How did you get that way?
I don't know.
You're screwed up and brilliant,
Look like a million dollar man.
So why is my heart broke?

Since my wonderful day off, work has tried it. I mean, really tried. Even more so than at the beginning of this week. I don't even want to get into the details because I'm so over it. Just more and more of the same, more and more of expecting me to get all of this work done without staying over to get said work done. And because I stayed after Thursday, it meant that Friday was going to be a blessed day. And really, a thrice blessed day.

It's no secret that I've been getting into Lana Del Rey recently. And by "getting into" I mean "falling down the deepest darkest hole of her beautiful music's soul". It seems that the songs from Born To Die are probably my favorite, but that hasn't stopped me from pretty much downloading her entire audio arsenal. And Thursday night, after the trials of work and it's long day of acquiring overtime, I thought to myself "When in the hell does Lana's new album come out?". I knew it was soon, but upon looking it up, I saw that I only had to wait until morning for Lana to fuck me up with Lust For Life in full. And bitch. I. Wasn't. Ready. It's so good. Definitely more hip-hop influenced than the rest of her work, in my opinion, but Jesus H. Christ, I was unprepared. I mean, 13 Beaches? White Mustang? God Bless America - And All The Beautiful Women In It? Lana, you've successfully fucked this gay up.
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Anyways, after listening to her album in the car Friday morning before work, I was elated and just ready to get the day over with. Not only was there a new Lana album to obsess over, but also, because I had the hour and a half of overtime, I was planning on taking a super long lunch to cut my time, and in turn using that time to write more in the second book. That ended up happening, but not the super long lunch part.

There was work drama. About the cutting of time. After being so drilled in our brains to not cut time on Fridays, everyone pretty much knew that if you still had time on Fridays, you had to cut it on lunch. This was again reiterated to us during the morning meeting. But as I and another associate were called to stay after, we were told to break this very rule because we had such an excess of time. So then one associate heard that another, one who's allowed to do literally whatever the hell she wants because of the department that she's over, had FOUR hours to kill. Then I was stopped by good ol' gossip Hardware that Electronics was pissed about Pick-Up. Then the drama hit the fan when an electronics associate called out Pick-Up saying, "It must be nice to be so favored that you get to do what you want, whenever you want." GIRL. The T was hot, and served with strawberry toast. Ya girl was L I V I N G.

But since Paper Chemicals had my back and I had hers from the meeting, we went ahead and followed order to only cut thirty minutes of our overtime on lunch and cut the rest by leaving early. I agree that it sucks and everyone should be held to the same exact standards, but I was just following orders at the end of the day. Big Brother had a Battle Back this week, Friday, so I got to enjoy that fresh hell. I'm so annoyed by who came back, but I also totally expected it. Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries. It's a train wreck and I'm over it. I got to write some again last night, to Lana of course, and some good shit was pouring out of me. But it was late and I needed to stop before it got too late. I wanted to write some more after this, but now I'm not so sure. I'm getting really tired and I might just lay in bed with some MPGIS.

Today wasn't too bad. I didn't sleep much. I kept on having these weird dreams about some of my fears, among them being my teeth falling out and my car being stolen and someone trying to murder me. But I guess that's just the fucked up psyche of the average creative type. At least, that's what I'm telling myself so that I can move on with my life. I got into Riverdale last night. I had watched the pilot with Benzo a while back, and I loved it. The Archie characters, I've always loved. And Archie's Weird Mysteries was my SHIT. So I kept up the trend today and binged the first season. Thanks Netflix! It's dialogue is very up my alley, and the title of this blog came from it. I know it's also a Stephen King novel, but recycled saying or not, I love it to death. But the show is amazing. It's literally so good. Gives me a good vibe for my book too. So that's always a plus.

Also, as a side note, I tried to litter this blog with amazing gifs, but Blogger wasn't having it I guess because when I went to paste in my third one, it didn't even appear, but messed with the formatting. So only Lana up there shall remain. Fitting, as that damn Million Dollar Man song has been plaguing my dreams so effervescently.

Honorable Mention for NP goes to Shania Twain's new song, Poor Me. THE QUEEN OF CROSSOVER IS BACK BITCHES. I can't wait for Now to be released as a full album. I'm so ready, willing, and able for it.

Starless and darkful,

-- Jesse

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