Ham Hawk

| Now Playing: Party For One by Carly Rae Jepsen |

Party for one

If you don't care about me

I'll just dance for myself

Back on my beat

I'll be the one

If you don't care about me

Making love to myself

Back on my beat

You don't want my love

If you don't care about me

I'll just dance for myself

Back on my beat

Party for one

If you don't care about me

Making love to myself

Back on my beat

Ahh, ahh, ahh

_________________________________________________________

It’s been a minute, I know. But the holidays were happening, and work was crazy because of the Thanksgiving / Black Friday event, so sue me. At least I’m making an attempt at keeping this up, and I haven’t missed in a while. But here she is, back back back back back again. Originally, when I was listening to three songs on a loop, the third one was the song in the NP, the other songs being the last two songs from the last two blog’s NP. And I haven’t really listened to anything else of significance, so Carly keeps her spot this blog. 

So yeah, sort of a lot has happened. And I’m going to cliffnotes the hell out of. I guess the best place to start is Allen’s birthday weekend. It was, obviously, last weekend. I was off on his actual birthday, Friday, and I just remember lounging around and having a free day. I’ve been working on my author name change stuff so I probably worked on that. We went out to see Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald, and it was pretty good. I mean, I do think they’re stretching everything out unnecessarily, but it’ll be good when all of them are out and everything. Then we went to a hibachi place nearby, and met some older gays that were sitting with us, that was interesting. One of them wasn’t having it, but hey, not everyone can adapt to social settings I suppose. Then we spent Saturday, which was the day of his party and the night we were going out, watching movies I think and getting ready for everything. The party was great, we played Picolo, ate some good food, got drinks you know, the usual. Then we headed out. 

We decided to just go out to Kabana, since not many people were coming out with us like we thought. So it was us, Chelsea, and then her boo Colin met up with us, followed by Careese later on. And that was fun, aside from how cold it was outside, and since Kabana is only but so big inside, we were heading out quite often. After playing some more Picolo at Kabana, we decided to head over to Colin’s place to chill and Careese couldn’t remember where she parked her car. So after looking for about thirty minutes without placing it, we walked down the street to Colin’s place, since he lived nearby.

And then the next part, in retrospect, was a good thing in the end. I’m not going to divulge it here because it’s personal and that’s how I’d prefer it to stay, but it was something that Allen told me and I had certain feelings about it. I sort of feel bad that we were hashing things out in the living room of this guy we barely know while our friends are sequestered to his bedroom while we talked, but it just sort of happened that way. I’m just glad we were able to talk through it, and ultimately move past it. At least for the moment, because we were about to be fucked up. After our personal discussion, we headed back to Colin’s bedroom and dabbled in some extracurricular entertainment and it truly messed with us. I think Allen and I were the only ones truly affected by it, but still. I was just starting to feel the worst of it when Allen started to get really deep into it. He was getting upset, so we moved to the living room and tried to order our Uber to take us back home, but it was just a lot. I ended up snapping into nurturing mode and separated how messed up I was feeling because I was worried about making sure Allen was okay. We made it home alright, even though I was truly worried about Allen when he got sick and got a nosebleed on top of it, but as we went to bed, everything was okay.

The next morning we were dragging. We just partied a little too hard and it was a fear trying to find Careese’s car later on, but we did find it and everything was fine. We had to go back to Colin’s, because Allen ended up forgetting his vest which had his phone and wallet in it, but we got it so everything was good. Allen and I talked more about what occurred as we were getting to Colin’s last night over some food, this cute Mexican cuisine place downtown called Maya that was really good. And after talking it out some more, it felt, and still feels, like it’s settled and we can, and have, moved passed it. Then we headed home to literally relax the weekend away haha. Because it was a lot, and we just needed rest. 

The work week was mundane. Other than the fact that my time keeps getting rejected, even after I talked to Mary about it and she said it was fine, she denied it for a second time. Ugh. So I don’t know what’s going to happen for Destiny’s birthday like we want, but who knows. We will just have to see on that front. Plus, I don’t know if I’m moving departments like I thought I was going to. I still might I guess, it’s just sort of up in the air. 

Then I was off Wednesday before the Thanksgiving event, and I don’t recall a whole lot of I’m being honest. But the event was bullshit. I went in and basically did nothing while everyone posted about Thanksgiving. I hate working on it, because every time I do, it makes it feel like less and less of a holiday to me. I literally stood for about four hours without a break, and then moved a couple pallets around. That’s it. It’s so pointless, I really think they just need to move it to, oh I don’t know, actual Black Friday maybe? I don’t know. Just a thought.

Then it was our Thanksgiving, which somehow ended up being called Thanksmas for us haha, I guess because we listened to Christmas music while we waited for the food to be ready Friday and drank the holiday away. We danced around to Christmas music and drank good wine, ugh, it was a really good time. It’s up there with last Christmas with my grandparents, and it was amazing, so it was just great. So then Kelly and Andrew came over right before dinner since they were eating with us. So we ate, and in came Kathy and her niece Darline, and we started to play Cards Against Humanity. It was something else, mainly I guess because Darline was pretty abrasive. Fun, but abrasive. Plus it’s a little interesting playing a game that’s really sexual with your boyfriend’s mom haha, but it’s all in good fun. Then Kelly and Andrew left and we played Left Right Center for a little bit before heading upstairs.

Allen and I were fairly drunk, and we ended up talking about last weekend’s topic again, and then some other stuff I’m glad we got a chance to talk about. Super glad. I’m just glad we can be completely naked with each other about anything and everything. I just love him so damn much, he truly is the king of my heart. So after our soul relenting, we laid in bed and started watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, because we’ve started back up the whole watching the movies again, but we didn’t make it very far in the movie because we were getting pretty tired. And Saturday was super our chill day because of all the food and all the drinking. We watched movies literally all day. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the fear of it haha, The Post, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and then bed haha. 

And today’s been fairly chill. We watched a shit ton of The Haunting of Hill House, which we started recently, and it’s so fucking good. I really love the characters and the story is really good. It’s not that scary, but I ain’t mad at it. Allen started helping Lorin out by basically being an assistant stage manager at this Cat theater place, so that’s been taking up most of his nights, or will be here soon, he’s there now. My author name change is going good, I got the amazon, sort of, part handled, and I’m just waiting to get everything ready and changed so I can start really branding and sending my query letters back out. I’m just not looking forward to heading back to work because I’m doing a six day stretch haha. And the title of this blog! Allen not being sure what a ham hock was and thinking it was a bird, like hawk haha. God, I love that man so much. 

Until next time,

— Justin