| Now Playing: Thank You, Next by Ariana Grande |
Thought I’d end up with Sean
But he wasn’t a match
Wrote some songs about Ricky
Now I listen and laugh
Even almost got married
And for Pete I’m so thankful
Wish I could say thank you to Malcolm
Because he was an angel
One taught me love
One taught me patience
One taught me pain
Now I’m amazing
I’ve loved and I’ve lost
But that’s not what I see
‘Cause look what I got
Look what you taught me
And for that I say
Thank you, next
Thank you, next
Thank you, next
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex
Thank you, next
Thank you, next
Thank you, next
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex
__________________________________________________________
I know, I couldn’t help myself from posting this song in the NP. It’s been blowing the fuck up ever since it came out, and it’s just a jam so go listen to it.
So Thursday was my usual day off, and I had an appointment to see about trading my car in, so that was the first thing on the agenda that day. I got up and got ready and headed out the door for that. Once I got to the dealership, I was just convinced that there was no way it was going to happen. And even though test driving the Jeep Renegade I was interested in was fun, and even though they played two 80’s songs (Africa and Pour Some Sugar On Me) and a Taylor song (Shake It Off) while I was waiting to see if I could get it, I didn’t end up getting a new car. I just really wish my payment was a little bit lower. Maybe I can try to refinance it after a little while, I think that’s probably my next best option. Because I do love my car, I just wish it had all the bells and whistles is supposed to have. So after that whole debacle, I headed back to the house where I proceeded to get caught up on Riverdale while I wrote. Let me tell you, Riverdale is taking some weird turns, but at least it’s a good backdrop to write to. I got a ton of writing done, and by the time my boyfriend got home, I was still writing while I finished the last episode I needed to get caught up on. And then I wrote even more when Grey’s Anatomy came on. There was no Will & Grace for us to watch, and we were a little too tired to watch Murder, so we ended up going to bed instead.
Friday was my rough day at work. No because of the work (even though the day totally dragged the fuck by), but because I was so in my head. Just in general, but like in my relationship. And it’s not anything he’s done, honestly I think it’s because I’m so happy and so happy with being with him that I sort of feel like something bad is about to happen? Like I think it’s just because I’m so happy and in love that my head plays tricks on me and it’s saying “Just wait until it all falls apart.” Which I know is bullshit, and it’s just dumb that my head is saying that. I need to calm down when that happens and just let myself be happy. I think that’s the main thing. Basking in the happy instead of preparing for it to warp. So that’s what I’ve been setting a daily goal to do: just let myself enjoy being happy.
Anyway, enough of that self analysis stuff. After work, we had plans to grab drinks with Lorin and Jimmy, so we did that. After a couple drinks waiting for them, I was starting to feel a little better. And kudos to Allen, because he was really trying to hype me up and I love him for it. We left the place we were at and walked down the street to this club, but it was small and loud, and I was already feeling tired and since I had to work in the morning, we ended up leaving shortly after. We got home and, even though it was already late, we made food and watched Murder. And the next morning, I was good to go for the most part, I wasn’t nearly as tired as I was expecting to be, but I was just ready to be off.
And when I got off, Allen surprised me. Saturday marked one year since we started talking, so basically since we met, and I came home and he wasn’t in our room, but what was was flowers, candy, a card, and he had taken the chalkboard I had bought for him when he started his first day at work and wrote the date followed by “The date that changed us.” and I about cried. And then reading the card, I about cried all over again. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. In the past relationships I’ve had, I’ve sort of always felt like I was the more romantic one, so no one has ever done anything like that for me. No man has ever gotten me flowers either, until Allen. And I was wondering where he was, and as I was skimming through the Red Tour Book that I had ordered (because it was on sale for half off) he texted me to come downstairs. And when I did, he was holding up two champagne flutes of wine. God, I love that man. In case anyone reading this couldn’t already tell by most content on this blog. So we started having some celebratory drinks. We ended up having a wonderful night in, just drinking and enjoying time with one another and it just melted my heart all over again.
Also, Saturday marked the one year anniversary of reputation coming out! I made a video for my channel, ranking each song on the album, so that was a lot of fun. I think I’m going to do it for all the other albums as well, just for fun and for some amazing content, obviously. I can’t believe the amazing things that have happened in my life since this album came out. Meeting Allen, getting to be a part of Taylor Swift’s reputation Stadium Tour (Like, how is that a thing that happened and is still happening for at least two more shows?) meeting Taylor Swift herself, being able to move cities and enjoying being with the man I love so much. I just, can’t express enough how grateful I am to be where I am at this point in my life. And I can’t wait to see where else I’ll be going in the future
Then we had to get up a little early than we would have liked Sunday, because we were checking out one of the apartments we had called to set up a tour. We went to one Friday immediately after work, and despite the fun lesbian manning the office, that’s probably going to be our backup plan place. Anyway, after the night of celebrating, we weren’t really up for our other plans that we had after we were going to tour the apartment. It was going to be like this hike or something with apple picking and everything, but we just weren’t up to it. So we ended up going to the apartment place to tour (it was a bust tbh) and then we randomly stopped at two other places but they were closed because it was Sunday. But we had one place that seemed promising so we added it to the list. After that whole escapade, we got sushi! Ugh I love Sushi King so much. Then we headed to Kroger for a quick stop, and Allen and I were searching through our phones to see what our first texts to each other were. We got to see them when we got home, and it was cute to see where we started compared to where we are. We’re adorable.
Monday it was back to work, and it wasn’t too bad. The good thing about work is I’ve been writing on lunch. I did both Monday and Tuesday so we’ll see if that trend continues today haha. It’s been great delving back in to the series and the feeling that comes along with it. Oh, I also set up my Mac in the other bedroom on Thursday too, so that’s been great to have. After work Monday, I finally sent another query letter out, fingers crossed. I’m hoping to send another one out after work today because I really need to just keep pushing them out. I can’t get a response if I don’t keep sending them out. We started watching the second Harry Potter movie, but we got tired, so we didn’t nearly finish it. And then Tuesday was a really good day at work because I basically got to do what I wanted, and after work we watched Titanic and it was his first time seeing it! Ugh, so good. I told him if we went ahead and watched Titanic that we could start watching Christmas movies afterward, and that’s what we did tonight when we watched The Holiday. It was actually a really good movie and I enjoyed it a lot. It wasn’t entirely Christmasy, but I enjoyed it all the same.
Tomorrow’s my last day at work for three days and I am so fucking ready. Hopefully I can get even more writing done like I have been during lunch this week. Today’s also marking 10 months that we’ve been together and I’m so thankful for that. I love you babe.
Until next time,
— Justin
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