All the smoke in the air
Leads back to your lips
But I can’t look away from your eyes
I feel your breath in my hair
As your hands go to my hips
And the heat drips down to my thighs
You say relax and lean back into me
You say you need me
Over and over again
He’s got a temper like you wouldn’t know
And when we tells me he loves me so
I get so high that I can’t be low
‘Cause I’m in love with Marlon Brando
_____________________________________________________
So as I’m writing this, it’s my last night at my grandparents place. It’s a weird feeling, only because it doesn’t feel weird? Like obviously I’ve moved out before. The first time I left home after high school was sad, even though I moved in with my grandparents, the time I moved in with my ex, I was sad to leave my grandparents. But I don’t know, I don’t feel sad about this. All I feel is excited and ready and leaping at this opportunity I’ve been given to usher in a new era of my life, the next chapter. My only concern is I don’t want my boyfriend or his mom to feel put out or anything by me being there, or that I’m going to take advantage of staying there by prolonging how long I plan on being there. I just don’t want to mess up this beautiful thing that he and I have together, because it’s the realest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, and I just hope he knows how much it means to me that I’m even being able to stay with them and everything. Not that I’m knocking the benefits, because who wouldn’t want to wake up next to that beautiful man every morning until further notice? Certainly not I because seeing him next to me in the morning is literally one of my favorite things in the world. *blasts Good Morning Babe from every speaker in the world*.
Anyway, this week has been really good in retrospect (Thanks retrograde!). People at work have been asking me if I’m excited and everything like that, I just know tomorrow is going to be tough. Like I don’t really think I’ll cry but if my darling Destiny starts crying, I’ll probably break because that’s going to be what breaks me haha. I’m pseudo glad Amber and Wendy have been out with baby Aiden just because I don’t have to really see their faces when we talk about me leaving. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to miss A LOT of people. I’ve come to connect with almost every Department Manager I work with in one way or another, given them my signature names that are honestly at this point fairly legendary among the store haha. And even Zachariah Malachiah went and lobbed off all his hair so it’s short now. I am going to miss them, but I am so looking forward not being complacent anymore. Not being angry, not feeling like nothing I ever do is good enough. I’m not saying I’m not going to have hard times or stress at this new store, I’m just saying my concerns will be completely different, and I really need different because I can’t keep having the same downfalls at this store. Tomorrow’s going to be a weird day at work, I honestly don’t plan on working too much, in my eyes, it’s ‘Celebrate Justin Day’ so literally I’m not doing a whole lot haha.
My boyfriend came down this past weekend, and that was lovely. We did a lot, heading to Blacksburg Friday evening to see everyone up there, got to see Kelly’s new place (oooh whoa oooh!) and then came back down. We watched a shit ton of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, a bop. Then we even watched some Teen Titans per his request (A man seriously after my heart even though he already has it). Saturday we chilled until our date at Cheddar’s, where we had our first date, and that was great, reminiscing over our first date and everything haha. Then we met West for drinks at Billy’s Barn and got to see our friend the lesbian waitress again before leaving so that was pretty cool. He totally loved the time we spent with Snowgray while we waited for chicken tenders to cook, so that warmed my heart haha. Then Sunday we did lunch with Lisette and Kelly and her new boy Alejandro, who seems really cool and good for her, but that three weeks though! We went back to Kelly’s place, played a few games, tossed back a few libations, ate at Dynasty and this fucking wine / Chinese combo literally dicked my stomach down, I was in so much pain. We went to a winery with Kelly and Alejandro before we went back to her place and loved this plum wine, but future self, take note: don’t fucking order wine from a Chinese buffet. And certainly don’t fucking order FLAVORED wine at a damn Chinese restaurant. Fuck a damn Dynasty. But he was really sweet in taking care of me, God love him. Then we watched Big Brother 20 and chilled. Then the work week was back to annoy me, so he took some stuff back with him and headed back to Richmond.
I’ve been dealing with no mod shit all week. And today they pulled us away to run Grocery truck because why not? I will leave all that damn no mod for the new Toys DM, who apparently is named Megan and is coming from Valley View because all the new people come from Thy’s Old store at this point (insert the new Pharmacy girl who’s name I literally didn’t bother to learn) Pam Pam bought book from me and gave me 20 bucks for it, which I was not expecting. Teresa wants one too so I got hers ready. I might just give my last copy to Seanathan Michael Preston, I’m gonna miss him plus he’s expressed interest in wanting it, so I might do that. And today was really fun, bonding and making last memories with Pam Pam and Destiny and even Morgagina. Ugh, I love them so much.
Ceara came over after work to help me pack and pack my car up, since I’m leaving after work tomorrow to both beat the traffic and get to have two days to detox before Saturday when I start at the new store. Oh, and Devin joined us for lunch today! We saw him walking from Famous Anthony’s and so I messaged him and he joined us. He then sent me the sweetest message since I won’t see him tomorrow about missing me and that 1309 won’t be the same and how I’m going to rock OGP (he’s our OGP) so that meant a lot. But Ceara and I just really hung out, I’m exhausted from not sleeping well last night and work the past two days (I stayed over until 5:30 yesterday helping Destiny run and bin Dairy because Cap didn’t work freight from that night’s truck) and then we stayed a little bit today because of the whole running the grocery truck thing. I’m just tired haha. Thank God I’m probably leaving early tomorrow because of work over schedule.
Also, I made this really cool cover for my fan compiled album for Chester Lockhart, hence why he’s in the NP haha.
I don’t really know what else to say but I’m excited, a little nervous, but so fucking ready to get out of this era, and move on to Book Two of my life. Also, shout out to whoever wrote the title of this blog on some breakpacks that had us rolling at work. It’s supposed to be “deleted” and I read the word deletes as “de-leet-iss” because I was like what the fuck is deletes and why doesn’t it say deleted haha. We have fun through the chaos. I’m sure going to miss them. Ugh, tomorrow’s going to be fucking weird at work. I’m just still, in spite of all that missing and stuff, I’m so ready to go, to leave. To be in a new area, to start this Book Two. I literally can’t wait.
Until the new chapter begins,
— Justin
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