PARCHED

| Now Playing: Bury A Friend by Billie Eilish |

Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly

You're payin'? 

Is the amount cleanin' you out? 

Am I satisfactory?

Today, 

I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly

The way I'm drinkin' you down

Like I wanna drown, like I wanna end me

Step on the glass, staple your tongue

Bury a friend, try to wake up

Cannibal class, killing the son

Bury a friend, I wanna end me

What do you want from me? 

Why don't you run from me?

What are you wondering? 

What do you know?

Why aren't you scared of me? 

Why do you care for me?

When we all fall asleep

Where do we go?

It's probably

Something that shouldn't be said out loud

Honestly

I thought that I would be dead by now

Calling security

Keeping my head held down

Bury the hatchet or bury a friend right now

For the debt I owe

Gotta sell my soul

‘Cause I can't say no

No I can’t say no

Then my limbs all froze

And my eyes won't close

And I can't say no

I can't say no

Step on the glass, staple your tongue

Bury a friend, try to wake up

Cannibal class, killing the son

Bury a friend, I wanna end me

What do you want from me? 

Why don't you run from me?

What are you wondering? 

What do you know?

Why aren't you scared of me? 

Why do you care for me?

When we all fall asleep

Where do we go?

____________________________________________________

Happy February! You know what that means. It’s my birth month so obviously it’s all about me from now on 😂. Kidding, at least low key. I’m just ready for my vacation to get here so I can relax. 

This week has been sort of hard to get through. Not because work is exceptionally bad or anything, it’s just felt like a really long, slow work week. I’m actually starting to get my department back into shape, even though I literally had to throw breakpacks in the bin (which is a no no) just to clean up because I was told I was taking too long. So I guess the beginning of this week has been fairly frustrating. But since coming back from my day off, I’ve been able to work at my own place, do my own thing, keep in my process and routine, so it hasn’t been as bad. I’m slowly but surely getting the breakpacks and the random boxes of stuff just stuffed in boxes out of the bin. It’s a process. They messed up my schedule this weekend, scheduling me yet another Sunday, but I talked to management about it so hopefully they fix that. If not, I’ll just go ahead and “call out” Sunday, even though I’m not available that day. And if they try to point me, I’m fighting the hell that comes with getting it removed. Speaking of work, I reapplied for a Books A Million position, full-time, that I was interested in, so I’m gonna start calling about that next week. Fingers crossed!

FINALLY, after literally forever, I got my W2 Wednesday. Thankfully, I was able to get my W2, filed my taxes while I was on lunch, and was accepted before I even left work, all in one day. I’m not getting back quite as much as last year, but still pretty damn close, and the plan is to save it all. Allen and I are itching to get our own place, and this tax season is really going to help us be able to do that. You know that feeling you get when you’re home, and it’s your day off, and you just decide it’s a chill day and it’s just super relaxing? Lately, my days off, while they’ve been great and I guess pseudo relaxing, there’s just something about being able to relax in your own place, even if your current space feels like home, you know? I just hope we can make it happen this Fall / a little bit before school starts, and we’ll be moved in and ready to go.

My day off this week, Tuesday, was literally completely spent trying to download Sims 4 to my MacBook, and it was a journey. A journey that’s not quite concluded, I might add, because while it took more than 12 hours (I’m not kidding. TWELVE HOURS) to download the game, it only downloaded the base game, so none of the add-ons that I’ve purchased have been downloaded yet. And considering ya boy has bought a lot of Sims 4 dlc, it’s probably going to take another 12 hours for it to be completely finished. Speaking of internet, since Thursday, we’ve been dealing with not having internet. We came home and it just wasn’t working. And it hasn’t been working since. Allen called Sunday and were having someone come out because they don’t really know what is causing it. So hopefully that gets sorted out soon because my reupload of my book got rejected for a small detail, and I need the internet to fix said detail so I can upload it again and be square. I don’t think I’ll have enough time to have a copy of my book by Writer’s Wednesday, but at least I can bring my proof copy if I want.

Friday was a pretty great day. Luckily, work has been pretty good that past several days, so when Allen was saying we were grabbing dinner with Kelly, I was looking forward to it. But it turned into hanging out with a friend if there’s from high school, and even though I had to work Saturday, I was down for it. Only thing is, is we ended up staying quite a while and drinking quite a bit, so I ended up having to call out, but it wasn’t a big deal. I had been itching for a weekend off, because I have to work literally every weekend, so honestly it just gave me an excuse to allow myself to have a weekend off. It was a lot of fun hanging out with them, and we ended up getting home super late, and then sleeping in until noon the next day, and Saturday was basically spent recovering. And Sunday was spent wallowing in no internet, but we made the best of it. Got sushi, and then we sat down and FINALLY started Modern Family because I’ve been bitching that Allen and I should start it, since he hasn’t seen it all the way through so that was lovely.

And the title of this blog is from last Sunday. I don’t think I mentioned it but Fox’s Rent Alice, starring the one and only Valentina, aired. It was fairly okay, nothing too crazy. But Vanessa Hudgens as Maureen was probably the highlight. And when she was doing the whole Jump Over The Moon bit, the way she said parched had me and Allen rolling. Then we said it in Milly’s voice, then naming her Moolly, and it spiraled from there haha. I’m hoping for a low key week tbh. I’m gonna try to work through until next Sunday, but it depends on how work goes tbh. Also, I really wanna do a Sims let’s play. Like really bad. And play Splatoon! Joseph Birdsong got me fucked up. AND I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED with Billie’s new song. Ugh. So good. 

Until next time,

— Justin

I Want It, I Got It

| Now Playing: 7 Rings by Ariana Grande |

Breakfast at Tiffany's

And bottles of bubbles

Girls with tattoos

Who like getting in trouble

Lashes and diamonds

ATM machines

Buy myself all of my favorite things

Been through some bad shit

I should be a sad bitch

Who would've thought

It'd turn me to a savage?

Rather be tied up

With calls and not strings

Write my own checks

Like I write what I sing

My wrist?

Stop watching

My neck

Is flossing

Make big

Deposits

My gloss

Is popping

You like

My hair?

Gee thanks!

Just bought it

I see it, I like it

I want it, I got it.

Who ever said

Money can't solve your problems

Must not had

Enough money to solve 'em

They ask which one

I say nah I want all of 'em

Happiness is the

Same price as red bottoms

My smile

Is beaming

My skin

Is gleaming

The way

It shine

I know

You seen it

I bought

A crib

Just for

The closet

Both his

And hers

I want it, I got it

I want it, I got it

I want it, I got it

I want it, I got it

I want it, I got it

You like

My hair?

Gee thanks!

Just bought it

I see it, I like it

I want it, I got it

_________________________________________________________________________________

What a week it's been. I feel like so much has happened but also not really a lot has at the same time. Most of it has been mundane things, and work things. I guess I'll start with the biggest change. So, as of this week, I'm officially back in Toys, and I'm liking it. I probably would be loving it, but I literally came back to the department as the spring reset was happening, so all the mods and everything like that was fucked. But I'm glad to be back in Toys. It's nice to have this little sliver of familiarity back into my work life that has been so tumultuous and hazy ever since moving down to Richmond. This week, I ended up going into work early, working 5 to 2 instead of my usual 7 to 4. It was fine, and I got a lot of the mods accomplished and everything, but there's just so much going on in Toys right now, and they seem to expect me to stay after if everything's not done, and I literally don't understand that? Back at Salem, there wasn't this expectation that if you didn't stay to make sure you're stuff was done, that you might be facing a talking to. I really don't understand it, and I certainly don't like it.

On my day off, Tuesday, I got some more writing done, and officially perfected and typed up chapter 11 in Book Two, so that felt amazing. I'm just so ready to write, I know I keep saying that, but for fucking real, I can't say it enough. I did find this little event that's going on with James River Writers, a group I found on Facebook. It's supposed to be this little mixer type hang out thing where writers can come together and just hang out. So hopefully I can make some connections, or what would be really cool is if I made a friend or two from it. I love my friends back home, it just sucks not being able to readily see them when I would like to. I believe the next Writers Wednesday is February 13th, so we'll have to see if that plays out like I hope it will. Regardless of what happens, I think it'll be good for me to branch out and try and really simulate myself here in Richmond, especially in the writing avenue, so it's basically a double win that I'm hoping pays off.

The only other big that that happened was our rings came in, and I finally have mine! It feels great to have it, and I secretly love looking over at Allen and seeing it on his hand. Maybe that's weird, I don't know. I just love him so much, and even through arguments and misunderstandings, he's constantly my favorite view.

I guess that really it? I'm still shopping my book around, I FINALLY heard back from the FIRST place I sent a query letter to, which was a pass, but I'm expecting to get passes my first go at this. No one gets a yes their first time. Hell, J.K Rowling and Stephen King were told no for years. I'm just really hoping it happens at least in the near future. I want it so bad.

Finally got a place for my birthday, even had to cancel an Airbnb but we got another one, a better one. I just want Allen and I to be able to have some privacy, unlike our last Airbnb. We're still looking into getting our own place soon, just trying to figure everything out financially. Oh, and we're going back to Massanutten this May? That was super surprising, but super exciting. That'll be a fun getaway. Coming up this week, I don't think is a whole lot, really. Just trying to get this ranking Red video edited, planning out the next chapter in Book Two, and waiting until vacation, really.

And how could I not put Ariana's new bop in the NP? Although, I do prefer to call it by the title of this blog and not 7 Rings, but ya know. It's just the writer in me.

Until next time,

-- Justin

One Year

| Now Playing: Is That Alright? by Lady Gaga |

I hope you’re still with me

When I’m not quite myself

And I pray that you’ll lift me

When you know I need help

It’s a warm celebration

Of all of our years

I dream of our story

Of our fairytale

Family dinners and family trees

Teaching the kids to say thank you and please

Knowing that if we stay together things will be right

I want you

To look right in my eyes

To tell me you love me

To be by my side

I want you

At the end of my life

Wanna see your face

When I fall from grace

At the moment I die

Is that alright?

_________________________________________________

What better way to start this blog off than letting it turn into a love letter? Right after the last blog, I was all nervous and planning, because I was giving my boyfriend the promise ring that I got to celebrate our one year together. I was nervous because while I knew he would celebrate it and love getting it, there was a little part of me that was a little scared that he wouldn’t like it, but that’s to be expected I suppose when you get something like that. So Monday, since I was off from work and he was off because of the snow, the plan went into motion. I waited until he took a shower, then I started setting everything up. I put the card / letter on the bed and placed the ring, snuggled in it’s box, underneath his pillow on the bed. Then I snuck downstairs and opened the bottle of champagne and waited. And once he came downstairs and I saw the look on his face, what little fear I felt washed away. I’m super glad that he enjoyed it, and he of course went to calling his friends and posting about it, which I just found adorable anyway. The rest of Monday was spent in the hazy happy of that moment, and it was beautiful. He’s truly a gift upon my life. 

Lately, work hasn’t been too bad. Just frustrating more than anything. It’s just two main things about work that have been bothering me. 1. There’s never any equipment, whether they be handheld or otherwise, i.e, carts, in the store. I mean never. Usually you can find something, but not here. Occasionally I’ll find one, and by find one, I mean take someone else’s, but that’s if no one’s around, which is almost never. And 2. There’s just this overwhelming feeling of anxiety when I’m at work. I just always feel like no matter what I do, I’m being watched. And maybe I am or maybe I’m not, but that’s just how it feels. I constantly feel eyes on me, whether they’re there or not, and it’s kind of hard to work like that. I’ve been looking into other potential jobs, I’ve got that phone interview with Nestle on Tuesday. It’s just wearing on me to both not have the things I need to do my job and constantly feeling like someone’s critiquing every step I take.

On my day off, Wednesday, I ended up doing a ton of writing, and chapter eleven is officially done, meaning the halfway point of Book Two has officially been surpassed, and it made me feel so accomplished to have gotten this far. The ultimate goal is to have Book Two ready to go by Halloween, which seems really far away, but I know better. Getting the book done by that date will be a feat, but hopefully it’ll be one I can manage. I got the proof back from my reupload of Book One back on Thursday, and everything looks in order. So it’s ready to be sent the go ahead to Amazon, but I’m slightly hesitant only because I would love to get a literary agent that could help me reach a bigger audience, so I might just hold off on that. Knowing that everything is ready to go at a seconds notice is enough, for the time being. The next step is getting chapter eleven 100% typed up and modified, and plotting our chapter twelve, aptly title “Another Something Bad”.  Titling chapter is one of my absolute favorite things to do in writing, aside from the actual writing itself, so seeing that title written out is just music to my eyes.

Thursday we ended up getting dressed up and going to this 1920’s Speakeasy themed event, but it was a low key bust. Aside from the prohibition propaganda and things of that nature, there really wasn’t that much that screamed “speakeasy”. And standing in a line for an hour just to choose from two “speakeasy” themed cocktails was more than a little annoying. However, we had an awesome dinner just down the street from the event at a place called Savory Grain that I ended up loving. The food was pretty incredible, and the drinks were interesting. Pricey, but interesting nonetheless.

Other than waiting for both of our rings to get here (I ordered mine and an adjusted size for him), not that much is going on in the near future. We might be getting together with Chelsea and Colin next weekend, but we shall see how that pans out. You know what I’d really love? If we somehow got snowed in, but I didn’t have to call out of work, and we could just lounge around and watch movies this weekend. With hot cocoa. And some Smash. Yes. Yes please. Oh, we finished Friends From College, we started this awesome show called Good Girls, and I started and finished the last season of Series Of Unfortunate Events which was AMAZING ugh. I need to reread that series. But I also need to reread Harry Potter. So many books, so little time. 

Until next time,

— Justin

When Did The Spiciness Begin?

| Now Playing: Where’s Rebecca Bunch? by The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast |

I’m really digging the energy that 2019 is giving off so far. Like this has been a pretty good week, and the energy involving work life is improving and possibly changing, and writing energy has been amazing to exert and I don’t know. I’m just in a really good mood. 

As I said, work might be changing. STLB, I finally got to bring up to the store manager that not only was I interested in Toys, but also that I used to run Toys back in Salem for over a year. And then she did this rough draft version of a pop quiz about the department and apparently I impressed her, because she was outwardly cheerleading her praise after I answered her questions. I’m really hopeful, but I can’t help but feel this nagging, pesky part of my brain that’s like “THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WRITING AT ALL”. Despite said inner monologue, I’m still really excited about the possibilities. Toys is something super familiar, and I think shifting to that department might be just the familiarity I need, just the comfort to set me right as far as my work environment goes. At least until I can satiate that inner voice within me and end up doing something more geared toward what I want to do.

Sunday I got to sleep in, and Lord was it needed. Last week was just super taxing so getting to sleep in was a true gift. But we eventually had to leave bed and start getting ready because we were meeting West for brunch / lunch on his way back to Blacksburg. Considering they didn’t serve lunch until THREE PM (Seriously, isn’t that a little late for lunch to start?), Kitchen 64 was pretty good, and it was fun catching up with West. We headed to the brewery of the place that was showcased at the haunted farm we went too near Halloween and then we headed home.

We’ve been on this kick lately where we’ve sort of gotten into a nightly routine haha. We watch the Mexican reality show that we’ve become obsessed with, Made In Mexico, followed by the Netflix original, Friends From College, which I still don’t know how I feel about, and then we’ll play Smash. It’s been really nice and enjoyable lately. It’s been nice to have this sort of relaxing routine to fall back on, and I just really have enjoyed it. Also one night, he started playing videos of songs from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and thus the listening to them has rapidly increased, and also why one of the songs is in the NP, because it’s probably my favorite of all of the music the show has come out with.

Thursday, my day off, was wonderful. I got up, started laundry, and the only other thing on my agenda for the day was writing. And writing I did. While one of my favorite seasons of The Simpsons played in the background (Season 9), I wrote all day long. And it just felt so good. It felt great to watch the Simpsons again because I haven’t really watched it since moving, and who knows how long before that, and being able to get a huge chunk of writing done, it just feels absolutely incredible. That’s why I’m going to keep pushing to try and get on at Barnes & Noble or Books-A-Million. Books and stories are just something I love so much and am truly passionate about. I just wish they would give me a chance. But alas, getting ten pages done left me feeling super accomplished. 

The title of this blog comes from this video of some weird ass song that my boyfriend and I have been into lately. It’s some peppermint thing, I don’t know, it’s just hilarious.

I had a phone interview with Nestle but we missed each other so I guess that’s a busy? Maybe it’s for the best because it’s looking like I’m moving to Toys anyway. Which I’m super excited about. I didn’t realize how much I missed Toys until I was doing it Friday. Ugh, it’s just so nice to have something familiar to rely on. 

Allen and I just got back from massages, and it was my first time, and it was incredible. What shocked me more than anything was the hand massage. I guess because when I write I use my hands so much, it was just an awesome experience. Now, after leaving Peking, the plan is to watch the Scooby Doo episode of Supernatural (Because I was too sauced to pay attention to it last night after watching Golden Girls and Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost), watch It’s Complicated, and then Oliver’s Company! Which haven’t seen in years and he’s never seen, so that’ll be an experience.  Our one year is tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to enjoying that!

Until next time,

— Justin